deepgreen18 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deepgreen18) wrote2008-10-03 04:51 pm
deepgreen18) wrote2008-10-03 04:51 pm
Why I can or cannot do this
So...I have a mantra. It was not consciously chosen by the green one, nor do I seem to be able to get rid of it.
You wanna know? It's "I can't do this."
I'm not kidding, and I bet you believed me right off. This lovely phrase got started in my violin lessons (surprise!), I think. My teachers would ask me to do stuff I thought I couldn't, so I'd say "I can't do this" and then proceed to do it. Interesting.
Right now, I feel burnt out. I've been go, go, going for the past week? month? a while and it has taken its toll. I need to be outside, contemplating my deepest, silliest, where did that come from? thoughts. So, this weekend, I'm taking it slower. No rushing around. Two things a day, practice and homework. An hour of dad's stuff (I'm the official enterer of bank statements), and anything else I please.
Funny, I felt really stressed before I got on the computer, it has a calming effect. So does planning easy days.
My violin teacher (lovely lady) suggested today that perhaps I should take a year before entering graduate school to really polish my pieces for auditions, play in the local orchestra(s), get some experience. I've been having random but consistent thoughts about that. I don't think it would hurt anything. It might help. I don't know, it's not a decision to make lightly. I have until the end of the year to make it.
A lot about my playing and ways of thinking about music have been improved by my teacher. Another year? Might be worth it.
I'm out of steam, thoughts, and platitudes.
Greeny
You wanna know? It's "I can't do this."
I'm not kidding, and I bet you believed me right off. This lovely phrase got started in my violin lessons (surprise!), I think. My teachers would ask me to do stuff I thought I couldn't, so I'd say "I can't do this" and then proceed to do it. Interesting.
Right now, I feel burnt out. I've been go, go, going for the past week? month? a while and it has taken its toll. I need to be outside, contemplating my deepest, silliest, where did that come from? thoughts. So, this weekend, I'm taking it slower. No rushing around. Two things a day, practice and homework. An hour of dad's stuff (I'm the official enterer of bank statements), and anything else I please.
Funny, I felt really stressed before I got on the computer, it has a calming effect. So does planning easy days.
My violin teacher (lovely lady) suggested today that perhaps I should take a year before entering graduate school to really polish my pieces for auditions, play in the local orchestra(s), get some experience. I've been having random but consistent thoughts about that. I don't think it would hurt anything. It might help. I don't know, it's not a decision to make lightly. I have until the end of the year to make it.
A lot about my playing and ways of thinking about music have been improved by my teacher. Another year? Might be worth it.
I'm out of steam, thoughts, and platitudes.
Greeny