Entry tags:
(no subject)
This has truly been a remarkable semester.
I've lived alone for the first time in my life.
I've lost my care for things. This one is hard to explain. Basically, my innate motivation, forward momentum? Has been stilled. Living alone has played a huge part in this, I believe.
Not only that, but I've been chin-deep in denial of my feelings about my entire experience here from the beginning.
Not three weeks here, I read this article about a man who changed professions often. His posited reason for it was that he asked himself "Am I passionate about this?" and if the answer was "No" he'd move on. I, of course, asked myself that question. Immediately, I shied away from the answer, but it has affected my performance and happiness so much that I must now face it. I'm not particularly passionate about performing. In fact, I rather dislike it. So why am I getting a Master's degree in it? Simply put, it is what I felt qualified to do. That is why I chose a music major in undergrad, as well. Not a great idea, it seems.
I've been to visit a career counselor, but I feel the main effort must be made by me. (Alliteration, ah, my love.) I've never felt that I'm good at self-fulfillment. Searching for jobs, schools? My pattern thus far has been to procrastinate with abandon and then only make a token effort. The most successful attempts I've made to date have been my trip to Vienna (got that application done in a week, deadlines), and my application to the Musick School. Perhaps the school-searching didn't go so well the two times I've done it because 1) I didn't know what I wanted to do the first time, and hello! Fear of the unknown. Plus 2) I subconsciously knew that performance wasn't my passion.
My one-on-one counselor said yesterday that life is too short not to be doing what you love. It felt like a cliche then, but resonates more today. I don't want to be stuck doing something distasteful to me.
I have another appointment with my counselor tomorrow. Haven't done much for it yet, though I have "plans" and some time before bed to rectify this situation.
There's only three things left here to do: The Centennial Concert, my jury, and my history final. I'm not looking forward eagerly to any of them just now, and I won't unless I do my fricking practice/homework. It is frustrating to be at the end of a cycle of not doing my homework/practice. It makes it so easy to just ignore it. I figured out why I was ignoring it in the first place, though. While I was homeschooling, homework didn't feel all that important, and I had a remarkable tendency to do it every day (don't ask me where it came from, I'm just glad it happened like that). Then in undergrad I had a roommate that I would go and talk to/at when I knew I needed to do my work, but didn't have the gumption. More often than not, I talked myself into doing it. Also, she set a fine example for me. This is sort of replacing that. I think it would work better if I said it aloud, and had someone to be accountable to, so no more living alone for me after my apartment contract runs out.
I'm rather afraid of the future right now. I don't know what I'll be doing next semester besides classes. Searching, I guess. I hate searching. This doesn't bode well for the search. Sometimes I can get into it. My car search, for example. Mom had to really prod me into it, but once I got going it only took a couple of days. Strict parameters help, but what parameters can one really give oneself for their life?
I like to say I'll try anything once (excepting that stuff someone else tried and it turned out badly), but I haven't really tried all that much career-wise. I've been a secretary of sorts, filing, stuffing envelopes, answering the phone, doing the books for my father, and later my boss at the aforementioned school. I've been a music teacher and mentor mostly for children ages 5-13, with a few college age people (19-27) and a couple retirees (65-ish). Technically, I've been a cashier and janitor. Oh, don't forget a babysitter, house-cleaner, and groundskeeper. People generally have lots of odd job experience, I guess.
I kind of want to do the horribly cliche jobs: waitress, and...well, that's it, really. Maybe Walmart employee, what do they call them? Associates. I'm tempted to say denizen, or minion. However, I've started to distrust my own judgment. This is near the same impulse that had me trying to live alone, you see. I kind of know I'll dislike it, but I don't really know that until I try. Tempting...but I'd really rather avoid any more job-related mental scarring.
My job counselor lady wanted me to check out the curriculum/requirements for my prospective job ideas, take the little self-tests, and, well, I don't know what her expectations are about job-shadowing. I just know she wants me to do it, and I want to as well, though it is something entirely outside my previous experience. Can you truly gain experience without experiencing something first-hand, though observation is considered first-hand knowledge, first-first-hand?
My main objection to this whole idea of pursuing happiness (thanks Lincoln) is that I'm not sure there is happiness out there for me. What if I perpetually stumble around being miserable for the rest of my life? Okay, I wasn't truly miserable last year (well, not the second half of it), but I wasn't fulfilled, either. Just existing, doing my job, waiting for something better. Funny how I can wait for and envision "something better" (or even something perfect), but I'm not sure I believe in it. What was the saying on top of one of the teacher here's door? "Don't believe everything you think". However, I found the quote: "Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do." to be much more inspirational, and true!
I want to be excellent. I want to have the habit of excellence. Right now I have the habit of laziness, I think. I get up and read, or listen to books and knit, or clean or make food. I basically do everything in my power to avoid my studies, practice and all. It is not such a shock that I'm not making progress, or enjoying the stagnation. I hate my habits, right now, shall I endeavor to change them?
I've lived alone for the first time in my life.
I've lost my care for things. This one is hard to explain. Basically, my innate motivation, forward momentum? Has been stilled. Living alone has played a huge part in this, I believe.
Not only that, but I've been chin-deep in denial of my feelings about my entire experience here from the beginning.
Not three weeks here, I read this article about a man who changed professions often. His posited reason for it was that he asked himself "Am I passionate about this?" and if the answer was "No" he'd move on. I, of course, asked myself that question. Immediately, I shied away from the answer, but it has affected my performance and happiness so much that I must now face it. I'm not particularly passionate about performing. In fact, I rather dislike it. So why am I getting a Master's degree in it? Simply put, it is what I felt qualified to do. That is why I chose a music major in undergrad, as well. Not a great idea, it seems.
I've been to visit a career counselor, but I feel the main effort must be made by me. (Alliteration, ah, my love.) I've never felt that I'm good at self-fulfillment. Searching for jobs, schools? My pattern thus far has been to procrastinate with abandon and then only make a token effort. The most successful attempts I've made to date have been my trip to Vienna (got that application done in a week, deadlines), and my application to the Musick School. Perhaps the school-searching didn't go so well the two times I've done it because 1) I didn't know what I wanted to do the first time, and hello! Fear of the unknown. Plus 2) I subconsciously knew that performance wasn't my passion.
My one-on-one counselor said yesterday that life is too short not to be doing what you love. It felt like a cliche then, but resonates more today. I don't want to be stuck doing something distasteful to me.
I have another appointment with my counselor tomorrow. Haven't done much for it yet, though I have "plans" and some time before bed to rectify this situation.
There's only three things left here to do: The Centennial Concert, my jury, and my history final. I'm not looking forward eagerly to any of them just now, and I won't unless I do my fricking practice/homework. It is frustrating to be at the end of a cycle of not doing my homework/practice. It makes it so easy to just ignore it. I figured out why I was ignoring it in the first place, though. While I was homeschooling, homework didn't feel all that important, and I had a remarkable tendency to do it every day (don't ask me where it came from, I'm just glad it happened like that). Then in undergrad I had a roommate that I would go and talk to/at when I knew I needed to do my work, but didn't have the gumption. More often than not, I talked myself into doing it. Also, she set a fine example for me. This is sort of replacing that. I think it would work better if I said it aloud, and had someone to be accountable to, so no more living alone for me after my apartment contract runs out.
I'm rather afraid of the future right now. I don't know what I'll be doing next semester besides classes. Searching, I guess. I hate searching. This doesn't bode well for the search. Sometimes I can get into it. My car search, for example. Mom had to really prod me into it, but once I got going it only took a couple of days. Strict parameters help, but what parameters can one really give oneself for their life?
I like to say I'll try anything once (excepting that stuff someone else tried and it turned out badly), but I haven't really tried all that much career-wise. I've been a secretary of sorts, filing, stuffing envelopes, answering the phone, doing the books for my father, and later my boss at the aforementioned school. I've been a music teacher and mentor mostly for children ages 5-13, with a few college age people (19-27) and a couple retirees (65-ish). Technically, I've been a cashier and janitor. Oh, don't forget a babysitter, house-cleaner, and groundskeeper. People generally have lots of odd job experience, I guess.
I kind of want to do the horribly cliche jobs: waitress, and...well, that's it, really. Maybe Walmart employee, what do they call them? Associates. I'm tempted to say denizen, or minion. However, I've started to distrust my own judgment. This is near the same impulse that had me trying to live alone, you see. I kind of know I'll dislike it, but I don't really know that until I try. Tempting...but I'd really rather avoid any more job-related mental scarring.
My job counselor lady wanted me to check out the curriculum/requirements for my prospective job ideas, take the little self-tests, and, well, I don't know what her expectations are about job-shadowing. I just know she wants me to do it, and I want to as well, though it is something entirely outside my previous experience. Can you truly gain experience without experiencing something first-hand, though observation is considered first-hand knowledge, first-first-hand?
My main objection to this whole idea of pursuing happiness (thanks Lincoln) is that I'm not sure there is happiness out there for me. What if I perpetually stumble around being miserable for the rest of my life? Okay, I wasn't truly miserable last year (well, not the second half of it), but I wasn't fulfilled, either. Just existing, doing my job, waiting for something better. Funny how I can wait for and envision "something better" (or even something perfect), but I'm not sure I believe in it. What was the saying on top of one of the teacher here's door? "Don't believe everything you think". However, I found the quote: "Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do." to be much more inspirational, and true!
I want to be excellent. I want to have the habit of excellence. Right now I have the habit of laziness, I think. I get up and read, or listen to books and knit, or clean or make food. I basically do everything in my power to avoid my studies, practice and all. It is not such a shock that I'm not making progress, or enjoying the stagnation. I hate my habits, right now, shall I endeavor to change them?
Entry tags:
What doesn't kill you...
It's amazing how much difference a full night of sleep changes your perspective. I've been on the edge for the past few days, but today was so much better. Also, getting through Music History and Theory tests with as much or more proficiency than I was granting myself earlier was a nice surprise.
I'm trying to organize my life now. Which internet provider should I choose? Where are the clubs I want to join? I didn't do this when I went to my undergraduate college, and I'm surprised how easy it is when you have a chosen direction. So far: I've found a knit/crochet group, an equestrian place (I was looking for a hiking/appreciate nature group, but this sounds interesting, too), and just now I found my quiet place. If I was given a guess, it wouldn't have been the off-campus rec room. Life is funny like that, sometimes. I still need a good library.
Knitting has been up and down really wildly in the past week. I was kinda, sorta doing about an inch per day before I left. Actually, it was more like 2-4 rows per day. I was stuck on the heel for six days. Once we got on the road to Ohio, though, I sailed through five inches in two days. Then I was knitting a few inches during Monday and Tuesday because the orientation classes were fairly boring. Today was all testing, so nothing has been done yet. I only have the toe of the second sock left, in fact. I may get to it tonight. I really need to practice violin and prepare for tomorrow, though.
I have no clue what I'm going to do once classes start. Probably go on as I've done before. One thing I remember from my many orientation things is that "study habits from undergraduate studies will greatly impact the habits of graduate students". I hope it doesn't hold true for me in a few things, like waiting too long to start a paper, or only practicing at night. I'm watching for it, so maybe I'll catch it early.
This is the first time I've been truly away from home and on my own. Vienna was more a case of "can she survive for six weeks?". This is two years. I have a feeling I will really appreciate my family visits.
Until next time,
Greeny
I'm trying to organize my life now. Which internet provider should I choose? Where are the clubs I want to join? I didn't do this when I went to my undergraduate college, and I'm surprised how easy it is when you have a chosen direction. So far: I've found a knit/crochet group, an equestrian place (I was looking for a hiking/appreciate nature group, but this sounds interesting, too), and just now I found my quiet place. If I was given a guess, it wouldn't have been the off-campus rec room. Life is funny like that, sometimes. I still need a good library.
Knitting has been up and down really wildly in the past week. I was kinda, sorta doing about an inch per day before I left. Actually, it was more like 2-4 rows per day. I was stuck on the heel for six days. Once we got on the road to Ohio, though, I sailed through five inches in two days. Then I was knitting a few inches during Monday and Tuesday because the orientation classes were fairly boring. Today was all testing, so nothing has been done yet. I only have the toe of the second sock left, in fact. I may get to it tonight. I really need to practice violin and prepare for tomorrow, though.
I have no clue what I'm going to do once classes start. Probably go on as I've done before. One thing I remember from my many orientation things is that "study habits from undergraduate studies will greatly impact the habits of graduate students". I hope it doesn't hold true for me in a few things, like waiting too long to start a paper, or only practicing at night. I'm watching for it, so maybe I'll catch it early.
This is the first time I've been truly away from home and on my own. Vienna was more a case of "can she survive for six weeks?". This is two years. I have a feeling I will really appreciate my family visits.
Until next time,
Greeny
New Home, New School
I've been in Ohio for four days. It's been interesting. School is going to be different, I can tell. There is a lot of emphasis on "being scholarly", and I'm not sure I approve, but I do not think I'll have too much trouble learning how to do that.
I have a new apartment, and it's a good one. One bedroom, one bath, one living room, and one kitchen. It's lacking in TV, so I have to find other ways to entertain myself. So far I'm unpacking, but that will run out soon. Perhaps I'll study.
I'm having a very hard time concentrating. Not enough sleep and no internet at home, which means I'm at school with many distractions.
I'll update again when I feel up to it. This was more to get back to it than anything.
I have a new apartment, and it's a good one. One bedroom, one bath, one living room, and one kitchen. It's lacking in TV, so I have to find other ways to entertain myself. So far I'm unpacking, but that will run out soon. Perhaps I'll study.
I'm having a very hard time concentrating. Not enough sleep and no internet at home, which means I'm at school with many distractions.
I'll update again when I feel up to it. This was more to get back to it than anything.
Entry tags:
I...never mind
I'm very, really, and truly tired. My word choice does not confirm this, but I don't care.
The past three days have been taken up with hosting my former roomie. I underestimated how much of an interruption to life that this would be. I am behind on the plans I have made. It will work out eventually, with much work, but I'm tired now.
Next time: knitting, driving, the capital, my darn computer, and working.
Greeny
The past three days have been taken up with hosting my former roomie. I underestimated how much of an interruption to life that this would be. I am behind on the plans I have made. It will work out eventually, with much work, but I'm tired now.
Next time: knitting, driving, the capital, my darn computer, and working.
Greeny
26 Days
I have 26 days before I leave for Ohio.
My former roomie is visiting for the next two days, she got here yesterday. It's so strange: in the four years we lived together we didn't explore much outside our apartment or the campus. We almost never tried new restaurants, or went clubbing. We did go to a few bars, but that was more a band thing than anything else. Suddenly, she's here and we decide to go out at 9pm at night. It was fun, we went down to the Riverwalk, listened to the bands, and had some really good dark chocolate fondue. We're planning on going to the capital tomorrow, and we may stay up there until the next day. I guess this is a last fling before she gets married. Did I announce my roomie is engaged? She is, and I'm a bridesmaid. It's very exciting; I've never been a bridesmaid before.
I'm working on a sock, at present. It's very close to done, but I doubt it will get there before Tuesday. Alas. I've been making very good progress on it, too. About an inch a day, which is really good when it takes 14 rows to get an inch (that's a lot).
After my roomie got here yesterday, we went to a movie: Despicable Me. It was alright, nothing to rave over. I expected it to be funnier, maybe a little more adult, but it mostly stuck with kids jokes and themes.
Just to inform the non-existent readership, I'm planning on posting something every day until I leave. Why? I'm sentimental like that? I don't know. Now the something could be anything: a picture, a limerick, a fanfiction of my own creation, a song. Hopefully I can do this, I think it'll be fun.
Until tomorrow,
Greeny
My former roomie is visiting for the next two days, she got here yesterday. It's so strange: in the four years we lived together we didn't explore much outside our apartment or the campus. We almost never tried new restaurants, or went clubbing. We did go to a few bars, but that was more a band thing than anything else. Suddenly, she's here and we decide to go out at 9pm at night. It was fun, we went down to the Riverwalk, listened to the bands, and had some really good dark chocolate fondue. We're planning on going to the capital tomorrow, and we may stay up there until the next day. I guess this is a last fling before she gets married. Did I announce my roomie is engaged? She is, and I'm a bridesmaid. It's very exciting; I've never been a bridesmaid before.
I'm working on a sock, at present. It's very close to done, but I doubt it will get there before Tuesday. Alas. I've been making very good progress on it, too. About an inch a day, which is really good when it takes 14 rows to get an inch (that's a lot).
After my roomie got here yesterday, we went to a movie: Despicable Me. It was alright, nothing to rave over. I expected it to be funnier, maybe a little more adult, but it mostly stuck with kids jokes and themes.
Just to inform the non-existent readership, I'm planning on posting something every day until I leave. Why? I'm sentimental like that? I don't know. Now the something could be anything: a picture, a limerick, a fanfiction of my own creation, a song. Hopefully I can do this, I think it'll be fun.
Until tomorrow,
Greeny
Meet Elizabeth
Hi there,
Tonight is a diary night. I can't stop composing an entry in my head (and crying, my excess emotions always come out that way, it's annoying, but expected).
Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow make it officially a month until I leave. Going to Ohio, where the green grass grows (and freezes). I'm scared to death at the moment.
I'm not ready, yet. I probably will be when the time comes, but first I have to weather the fear. I also have to study my cute little arse off to get ready. I'm taking grad school more seriously than anything else in my life previous to this. I'm actually doing more than planning for it and letting those plans stagnate.
It's astonishing to watch the results when you put a plan into action. One of my plans was to get tutors for my entrance exams. Behold! It has been accomplished. Did it work out the way I thought it would? Sorta, not really. I thought I would study more. Check, on my own precious little would have been done. With tutors, I have someone to please, be accountable to. At the very least, something is happening. I'm not currently studying enough in History, and so I "fired" my tutor. Definitely wasn't expecting either thing, there. Maybe that is what set me off tonight.
Theory is sort of the same way: I'm definitely not studying enough, but my tutor is still pushing me along by main force. I hope to accelerate both subjects these last weeks. Strike that, I'm actively planning/going to/will pick up the pace in my studies this last month. It's not only necessary, it's decided.
Another plan that actually worked out was applying to grad school in the first place. I'm still rather amazed it happened, but quite happy to take credit for the results, if not the methods by which I arrived at them.
After that, I don't know if I should go on, but I feel like it, so onto...
Knitting: When we went to Kansas to check out the school there, my mother and I went to a really cool yarn store. At my urging, mom picked out some sock yarn. I've started those, at long last. I'm finally past the heel on the first one, and since then it's been remarkably easier to deal with. Having 64 stitches of lace versus 32 stitches of lace and 32 of knitting really makes a difference. In all likelihood, I'm going to finish these before I leave. That is, if the massive amounts of studying I plan to do don't derail that plan.
Until next time (still reading?),
Deepgreen18, aka Elizabeth
Tonight is a diary night. I can't stop composing an entry in my head (and crying, my excess emotions always come out that way, it's annoying, but expected).
Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow make it officially a month until I leave. Going to Ohio, where the green grass grows (and freezes). I'm scared to death at the moment.
I'm not ready, yet. I probably will be when the time comes, but first I have to weather the fear. I also have to study my cute little arse off to get ready. I'm taking grad school more seriously than anything else in my life previous to this. I'm actually doing more than planning for it and letting those plans stagnate.
It's astonishing to watch the results when you put a plan into action. One of my plans was to get tutors for my entrance exams. Behold! It has been accomplished. Did it work out the way I thought it would? Sorta, not really. I thought I would study more. Check, on my own precious little would have been done. With tutors, I have someone to please, be accountable to. At the very least, something is happening. I'm not currently studying enough in History, and so I "fired" my tutor. Definitely wasn't expecting either thing, there. Maybe that is what set me off tonight.
Theory is sort of the same way: I'm definitely not studying enough, but my tutor is still pushing me along by main force. I hope to accelerate both subjects these last weeks. Strike that, I'm actively planning/going to/will pick up the pace in my studies this last month. It's not only necessary, it's decided.
Another plan that actually worked out was applying to grad school in the first place. I'm still rather amazed it happened, but quite happy to take credit for the results, if not the methods by which I arrived at them.
After that, I don't know if I should go on, but I feel like it, so onto...
Knitting: When we went to Kansas to check out the school there, my mother and I went to a really cool yarn store. At my urging, mom picked out some sock yarn. I've started those, at long last. I'm finally past the heel on the first one, and since then it's been remarkably easier to deal with. Having 64 stitches of lace versus 32 stitches of lace and 32 of knitting really makes a difference. In all likelihood, I'm going to finish these before I leave. That is, if the massive amounts of studying I plan to do don't derail that plan.
Until next time (still reading?),
Deepgreen18, aka Elizabeth
Entry tags:
Three Strands
The socks are done. I'm going to Ohio in August. I finished a bathmat.
The socks are rather big one me (but I love them), and used up all of a skein plus a little more (boo!). Now I have extra sock yarn I won't want to use for at least another month. I had a smallish case of startitis after I finished the socks. I tried to start a cardigan (I'm still trying, actually), and then moved on to the bathmat. It is called Absorba, The Great Bathmat. I love it for many reasons: It is made from three strands of cotton, more than I've ever tried before; It is made from three/four colors: peach, yellow, and blue/white, and I got to play with all of the combinations possible from the three; it's cushy and soft, and dense, and just wonderful!
Ohio. I'm going to live there in the fall. This doesn't scare me nearly as much as I think it should. I will be living the farthest away from my family I ever have, going to graduate school, doing more-or-less adult things. Honestly? I'm rather excited. Lots of stuff to think about. Where am I going to live? Do I need new doctors? Where will I get car insurance? Details of living. I don't know the answers to the questions...yet. I'm working on it. Sometimes, I'm absolutely amazed I made it this far. I've said before that getting through applications and auditions was torturous, and I still think so. Maybe it will be better when I go for my doctorate.
Gotta go,
Greeny
The socks are rather big one me (but I love them), and used up all of a skein plus a little more (boo!). Now I have extra sock yarn I won't want to use for at least another month. I had a smallish case of startitis after I finished the socks. I tried to start a cardigan (I'm still trying, actually), and then moved on to the bathmat. It is called Absorba, The Great Bathmat. I love it for many reasons: It is made from three strands of cotton, more than I've ever tried before; It is made from three/four colors: peach, yellow, and blue/white, and I got to play with all of the combinations possible from the three; it's cushy and soft, and dense, and just wonderful!
Ohio. I'm going to live there in the fall. This doesn't scare me nearly as much as I think it should. I will be living the farthest away from my family I ever have, going to graduate school, doing more-or-less adult things. Honestly? I'm rather excited. Lots of stuff to think about. Where am I going to live? Do I need new doctors? Where will I get car insurance? Details of living. I don't know the answers to the questions...yet. I'm working on it. Sometimes, I'm absolutely amazed I made it this far. I've said before that getting through applications and auditions was torturous, and I still think so. Maybe it will be better when I go for my doctorate.
Gotta go,
Greeny
(De)faults
The past couple of months have been very strange for me. I acted in a way that increased my stress levels to almost unbearable heights. Finally, after all the college application stuff was over, I started to act and feel better. This week I reverted. It didn't stress me out near as much as before, because I have neither as many nor important deadlines as compared to earlier. I wondered, a lot, actually, during that phase why I was doing such things. It just doesn't make much sense to work against yourself, you know? In the end, I've decided to dissect it here. Hopefully this will clear it up.
1: I don't have a full schedule that requires more than just showing up each week. Thus, I've not really set out daily schedules for myself or even thought of the future much. Just followed my default programming. This leads to staying up too late, being late to work, forgetting appointments, and a general feeling of can't/won't do it, because I don't have to, and if I don't have to do something, I generally won't.
2: I got confused about the order of task + reward = reinforcement. Reading, watching TV/anime, and knitting are my rewards, and I did them before I did the necessary tasks of the day, thus reinforcing not working. I love the fact that my psychology class has benefited me in more than just my knowledge base.
It was such a relief to realize this stuff, and, even better, apply it. I was happier, healthier, and overall more positive in outlook. It's always better to be active. Perhaps I should compile a list of my "It's always better...s", Write them out, print them, keep them up where I can see them. For me, it's always better to be constantly reminded in writing.
I have two other things to say: I was fully accepted to Bowling Green State University as of yesterday. It's making me smile quite I bit. I was also denied at Kansas, but no great loss there. Only one other place to hear from.
My sock has been steadily getting bigger since last time. I turned the heel yesterday (turning heels is so fun) and got the instep decreases and some of the foot done today. Another 4-5 days at my default pace (14 rows a day), and I'll be done with my second pair of socks. I can't wait.
Greeny
1: I don't have a full schedule that requires more than just showing up each week. Thus, I've not really set out daily schedules for myself or even thought of the future much. Just followed my default programming. This leads to staying up too late, being late to work, forgetting appointments, and a general feeling of can't/won't do it, because I don't have to, and if I don't have to do something, I generally won't.
2: I got confused about the order of task + reward = reinforcement. Reading, watching TV/anime, and knitting are my rewards, and I did them before I did the necessary tasks of the day, thus reinforcing not working. I love the fact that my psychology class has benefited me in more than just my knowledge base.
It was such a relief to realize this stuff, and, even better, apply it. I was happier, healthier, and overall more positive in outlook. It's always better to be active. Perhaps I should compile a list of my "It's always better...s", Write them out, print them, keep them up where I can see them. For me, it's always better to be constantly reminded in writing.
I have two other things to say: I was fully accepted to Bowling Green State University as of yesterday. It's making me smile quite I bit. I was also denied at Kansas, but no great loss there. Only one other place to hear from.
My sock has been steadily getting bigger since last time. I turned the heel yesterday (turning heels is so fun) and got the instep decreases and some of the foot done today. Another 4-5 days at my default pace (14 rows a day), and I'll be done with my second pair of socks. I can't wait.
Greeny
Ups and Downs
It's been quite a while, no? My mood over the past month has not been very good, and I didn't feel like inflicting it on the blog. Who really wants a record of their own self-destructive behavior and it's consequences? However, I think I've stabilized a bit since, so I'm back!
Much has happened in the past month. I went to see my former roomie in Dallas right before the New Year. That was so fun. We ate really good food, drank some pretty good stuff, and watched much Big Bang Theory. That show so funny. I laughed until I cried just about every third episode. Sitcoms are back to being good. It seemed to me that they were silly or stupid for the past ten-fifteen years (and it creeps me out that I can say that. I can't be 22. That doesn't make sense!).
Since I've gotten back home, I've managed to complete almost all of my applications for graduate school. It's been a long, agonizing process, but all I have to do now it complete one last assistantship app, schedule my auditions, and practice, practice, practice!
Most recently, I had a two-gig day on Saturday. First, my band was an opening act for a European rock band, Tyr. Then, I played with a local symphony. We performed East European string orchestra music. It was absolutely incredible. Both gigs went really well, and I feel that most of my nervousness over them was needless.
Much has happened in the past month. I went to see my former roomie in Dallas right before the New Year. That was so fun. We ate really good food, drank some pretty good stuff, and watched much Big Bang Theory. That show so funny. I laughed until I cried just about every third episode. Sitcoms are back to being good. It seemed to me that they were silly or stupid for the past ten-fifteen years (and it creeps me out that I can say that. I can't be 22. That doesn't make sense!).
Since I've gotten back home, I've managed to complete almost all of my applications for graduate school. It's been a long, agonizing process, but all I have to do now it complete one last assistantship app, schedule my auditions, and practice, practice, practice!
Most recently, I had a two-gig day on Saturday. First, my band was an opening act for a European rock band, Tyr. Then, I played with a local symphony. We performed East European string orchestra music. It was absolutely incredible. Both gigs went really well, and I feel that most of my nervousness over them was needless.
I've also started attending a psychology course at the local community college. So far it has been very interesting. I've never considered psychology to be a true science, but the instructor is slowly convincing me otherwise. I'm intrigued by the connection between the mind and the body. How your physical form affects your psychology. Perhaps I'll post more on the subject in the future.
Until next time,
Greeny
The thought that counts cont.
I really like how taking off the "It's" of the title affects the meaning. Being self-important is one of my many past-times. Right now, I should be working on accounts for my dad. This is me distracting myself because I've been "good". Finally, I've sent out requests to my former teachers about grad school recommendations. So far I have two "yes"-es. (It's incredibly difficult to make a plural yes in quotes, wow.) It has relieved my mind considerably about actually getting into grad school. I hope I can do it all within the time frame (basically, everything is due in mid-January). It just might happen. Next: getting transcripts, filling out apps, making sure they have my GRE scores, and sending it all away.
The gloves I started for a band mate of mine are finished, as of today. They're fingerless, large, and black with green stripes. All wool, too. Wool is easy to work with if it's of decent value. Otherwise, there's all sorts of crap one needs to overlook or get rid of in order to craft with it. Next, I'm making a scarf of many colors. A friend of mine at school had this scarf that her mother had made, and I just found out what the yarn was yesterday. I managed to buy some in a ridiculously wonderful almost-rainbow colorway. See all the adjectives and adverbs? Looking at it makes me happy. Since the Scarf of Many Colors will be boring as heck to make (knit nearly all the way, baby), I'm going to start another, harder project soon. I'm thinking a lacey cowl out some bamboo/silk blend yarn I bought after working on my sister's gift scarf. I really like silk. Hopefully bamboo isn't too weird.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. My family will be opening presents (we're impatient people) and enjoying each others company a bit. I'm sure there will be at least a little snark, but that is what makes life interesting.
Until next time,
Greeny
The gloves I started for a band mate of mine are finished, as of today. They're fingerless, large, and black with green stripes. All wool, too. Wool is easy to work with if it's of decent value. Otherwise, there's all sorts of crap one needs to overlook or get rid of in order to craft with it. Next, I'm making a scarf of many colors. A friend of mine at school had this scarf that her mother had made, and I just found out what the yarn was yesterday. I managed to buy some in a ridiculously wonderful almost-rainbow colorway. See all the adjectives and adverbs? Looking at it makes me happy. Since the Scarf of Many Colors will be boring as heck to make (knit nearly all the way, baby), I'm going to start another, harder project soon. I'm thinking a lacey cowl out some bamboo/silk blend yarn I bought after working on my sister's gift scarf. I really like silk. Hopefully bamboo isn't too weird.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. My family will be opening presents (we're impatient people) and enjoying each others company a bit. I'm sure there will be at least a little snark, but that is what makes life interesting.
Until next time,
Greeny
For the Hate of....
I really don't like where I'm living now. I'm getting ready to leave and - Wow, we interrupt this regularly scheduled rant to bring you breaking news: I'm in a bad mood. The bad mood affects how I see life. I enjoy where I live right now pretty well, actually. Where I used to live, on the other hand, I hated with a spectacular passion that I had to suppress until I moved or I would have been very depressed. My city is a good one. Not too large, not so small that I can get across it in thirty minutes. Something new can be found every day. I'm also so tired I mis-spelled at least ten of the last twenty words.
The reason I'm in a bad mood, you ask? I've been sick since Monday. Steadily improving, I think, but my energy is low and my voice is a third or so lower. Also, my older sister and her fiance are in town. Family. Gotta love it. There's been a lot of ups and downs. I'm so tired that I want to stay in, but I feel guilty that I'm not spending time with family. Then again, they surprised us with the timing of the visit (nine days before Christmas), and the scarf had to be speed-knit. (It's done! By the way, and absolutely gorgeous.) Perhaps the resentment can cancel out the guilt. I really want to see her face when she opens it, though. That may make up for a lot. Uh-oh, I sense high expectations. Large chance of disappointment, abort, abort!
I've practiced violin very consistently over the past four to seven days. I haven't been counting so much as thinking that I should practice every day. Empowerment from working out with Mom? I have time, I might as well. Also, I don't have time, graduate school deadlines loom.
I hate the looming, I really do. It scares me and makes me want to run for cover instead of getting my ducks into line. I just want it to be finished already. Circle of procrastination alert. I wait, which makes me nervous, which makes me wait more, which makes me panic, which either makes me wait until next year, or (I think) try to get everything in and do a bad job of it, so I wait. It's a bad cycle. I have to see things as nonthreatening in order to start, but urgent enough to actually get it done. Getting applications in just isn't that way. It's threatening. You are opening yourself to criticism and rejection by sending it. You are trying to change your life by doing it. It's significant. I can't see it any other way. The solution, I suppose, is to gird oneself for the inevitable. Be fearless. What could happen? It's paper. If they say yes, you can always say no. But you really want them to say yes. !%$#. However, acting confident, ever if you aren't, usually leads to good things. I learned that from my violin teacher. Play loud and fast, and sometimes (usually after lots of practice) everything just gets better.
I want to thank the English language and the written expression of it for allowing this rant to happen. Until next time, kiddies.
Greeny
The reason I'm in a bad mood, you ask? I've been sick since Monday. Steadily improving, I think, but my energy is low and my voice is a third or so lower. Also, my older sister and her fiance are in town. Family. Gotta love it. There's been a lot of ups and downs. I'm so tired that I want to stay in, but I feel guilty that I'm not spending time with family. Then again, they surprised us with the timing of the visit (nine days before Christmas), and the scarf had to be speed-knit. (It's done! By the way, and absolutely gorgeous.) Perhaps the resentment can cancel out the guilt. I really want to see her face when she opens it, though. That may make up for a lot. Uh-oh, I sense high expectations. Large chance of disappointment, abort, abort!
I've practiced violin very consistently over the past four to seven days. I haven't been counting so much as thinking that I should practice every day. Empowerment from working out with Mom? I have time, I might as well. Also, I don't have time, graduate school deadlines loom.
I hate the looming, I really do. It scares me and makes me want to run for cover instead of getting my ducks into line. I just want it to be finished already. Circle of procrastination alert. I wait, which makes me nervous, which makes me wait more, which makes me panic, which either makes me wait until next year, or (I think) try to get everything in and do a bad job of it, so I wait. It's a bad cycle. I have to see things as nonthreatening in order to start, but urgent enough to actually get it done. Getting applications in just isn't that way. It's threatening. You are opening yourself to criticism and rejection by sending it. You are trying to change your life by doing it. It's significant. I can't see it any other way. The solution, I suppose, is to gird oneself for the inevitable. Be fearless. What could happen? It's paper. If they say yes, you can always say no. But you really want them to say yes. !%$#. However, acting confident, ever if you aren't, usually leads to good things. I learned that from my violin teacher. Play loud and fast, and sometimes (usually after lots of practice) everything just gets better.
I want to thank the English language and the written expression of it for allowing this rant to happen. Until next time, kiddies.
Greeny
Pride in Accomplishment
I finished my state quarter collection last week. Technically, it's been finished since I got back from N. Carolina, but I just found my collection book while going through my boxes of stuff last week. This is the second time in the past month that I've been truly satisfied and proud of doing something. I don't get that feeling often. (The first was for my knitting needle case.) Looking at the dates that the quarters started coming out, I realized that I've been collecting the things for ten years. That is a very long time to indulge in a part time hobby. Almost half of my life, in fact. The only thing I can recall doing longer is violin. Fourteen to fifteen years of that, now.
Last Thursday I went to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. They were not what I was expecting. First, with a name like they have, one would expect a bit of European influence or even a member from, say, Germany? Nope. The cast was wholly American. Second, with the word "Orchestra" in the name, I expected quite a bit more strings and classical influences. Again, I was rather disappointed. The show was mainly rock, heavily influenced by the 1970's ideals of such, and what strings you could hear were usually on back-up rather than solo or duet parts. They badly need to learn how to end a song...and stick to it. Also, perhaps they would benefit from realizing when something cool has been repeated enough. Their choreography looked like a gymnastics routine without the leg movement or tumbling. They did have their moments of glory despite this: when the piano had it's (1st of 2) solo 5/6ths of the way to the end, I was very impressed. The violinists weren't bad when you could actually make them out, and my guitarist brother thought the guitar solos were nicely done. The only problem with those is they didn't fit with the rest of the music most of the time.
The biggest thing is that they need to decide what kind of show they're putting on: narrated, heart-warming (at least in intention) Christmas tale with accompanying songs, or Christmas songs redone for a rock band. I didn't like their attempt to merge the two.
Hmm...reading that, perhaps I didn't have a great time at the show. My brother and I snarked a lot at each other. That made it much more bearable.
It's official, I'm going to be visiting my roomie after Christmas. I'll be driving to the Dallas area on my own for the first time. Don't worry, this will not be a repeat of my New Orleans trip. My car is precious to me.
Right now I'm completing the last five of sixty rows on the gift scarf. My sister is coming into town sooner than expected, and I need to finish before she arrives. The vagaries of the Christmas season.
Until next time,
Greeny
Last Thursday I went to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. They were not what I was expecting. First, with a name like they have, one would expect a bit of European influence or even a member from, say, Germany? Nope. The cast was wholly American. Second, with the word "Orchestra" in the name, I expected quite a bit more strings and classical influences. Again, I was rather disappointed. The show was mainly rock, heavily influenced by the 1970's ideals of such, and what strings you could hear were usually on back-up rather than solo or duet parts. They badly need to learn how to end a song...and stick to it. Also, perhaps they would benefit from realizing when something cool has been repeated enough. Their choreography looked like a gymnastics routine without the leg movement or tumbling. They did have their moments of glory despite this: when the piano had it's (1st of 2) solo 5/6ths of the way to the end, I was very impressed. The violinists weren't bad when you could actually make them out, and my guitarist brother thought the guitar solos were nicely done. The only problem with those is they didn't fit with the rest of the music most of the time.
The biggest thing is that they need to decide what kind of show they're putting on: narrated, heart-warming (at least in intention) Christmas tale with accompanying songs, or Christmas songs redone for a rock band. I didn't like their attempt to merge the two.
Hmm...reading that, perhaps I didn't have a great time at the show. My brother and I snarked a lot at each other. That made it much more bearable.
It's official, I'm going to be visiting my roomie after Christmas. I'll be driving to the Dallas area on my own for the first time. Don't worry, this will not be a repeat of my New Orleans trip. My car is precious to me.
Right now I'm completing the last five of sixty rows on the gift scarf. My sister is coming into town sooner than expected, and I need to finish before she arrives. The vagaries of the Christmas season.
Until next time,
Greeny
The Long and the Short of it.
Well, I'm back again. That's all I will say about my prolonged absences. I've gotten tired of confessing/apologizing/etc.
Halloween was good. I stayed home in town for the very first time. For the past four years I've either stayed at school or gone to a party. Me and Tim ate, read, and answered the door in what used to be the office. It's a little room off the entryway that we just put french doors on. I'm using it now for teaching my one student who comes to my house.
Life is still fairly busy: I work in the mornings tutoring, wait out the afternoons, and then go teach after school gets out. Some days the afternoons are used to do accounts for dad or my workplace or go to knit/crochet. The schedule is in for some changes. My tutoring days are probably coming to an end next week. No more getting up at 6:30am! The band is still meeting, and our next gig is coming up this Sunday. We will be playing for the Route 66 run. As our keyboardist says: An audience of 7000 one at a time. I did it with them last year. It was freezing, but a lot of fun. Hopefully it won't be quite as cold this time.
I believe I mentioned that I taught my little brother how to crochet in October. We've started a new tradition of going to knit group together. I convinced him to come once, and we've done it every week since.
Big news: I've finished the squares for the afghan I started last month. I've made a start on putting it together. There are 31 sides to join up, and then the border to make. It's exciting for me to get something done relatively quickly. Tim has requested that he be a part of finishing the thing. It should come out well, as he's gotten pretty good at controlling his tension and making even stitches.
Smaller news: I've bought yarn for my next project. I'm making a scarf for my sister. This is supposedly a Christmas present, but sometimes I doubt my ability to finish things on a deadline. The yarn is silk, and I'm salivating over it. I cannot wait to start knitting it up, though I might try crocheting it. We'll see.
There's been some activity where graduate school selection is concerned. I'm finally looking into the possibilities, and I'm taking the GRE in the next two weeks. Hopefully it isn't too late to get into my chosen schools. It feels ironic that I'm finally having some success at this process when this is likely the last time I have to do it for myself.
Halloween was good. I stayed home in town for the very first time. For the past four years I've either stayed at school or gone to a party. Me and Tim ate, read, and answered the door in what used to be the office. It's a little room off the entryway that we just put french doors on. I'm using it now for teaching my one student who comes to my house.
Life is still fairly busy: I work in the mornings tutoring, wait out the afternoons, and then go teach after school gets out. Some days the afternoons are used to do accounts for dad or my workplace or go to knit/crochet. The schedule is in for some changes. My tutoring days are probably coming to an end next week. No more getting up at 6:30am! The band is still meeting, and our next gig is coming up this Sunday. We will be playing for the Route 66 run. As our keyboardist says: An audience of 7000 one at a time. I did it with them last year. It was freezing, but a lot of fun. Hopefully it won't be quite as cold this time.
I believe I mentioned that I taught my little brother how to crochet in October. We've started a new tradition of going to knit group together. I convinced him to come once, and we've done it every week since.
Big news: I've finished the squares for the afghan I started last month. I've made a start on putting it together. There are 31 sides to join up, and then the border to make. It's exciting for me to get something done relatively quickly. Tim has requested that he be a part of finishing the thing. It should come out well, as he's gotten pretty good at controlling his tension and making even stitches.
Smaller news: I've bought yarn for my next project. I'm making a scarf for my sister. This is supposedly a Christmas present, but sometimes I doubt my ability to finish things on a deadline. The yarn is silk, and I'm salivating over it. I cannot wait to start knitting it up, though I might try crocheting it. We'll see.
There's been some activity where graduate school selection is concerned. I'm finally looking into the possibilities, and I'm taking the GRE in the next two weeks. Hopefully it isn't too late to get into my chosen schools. It feels ironic that I'm finally having some success at this process when this is likely the last time I have to do it for myself.
Update no. 362
I'm back, and I bring news of yet another trip. My father and youngest brother and I went to Illinois last weekend for my great-uncle's 50th wedding anniversary. The trip was uncommonly quiet, as our disruptive elements (i.e. my younger extrovert sister and snarky guitar-playing brother) decided to stay home. It was pretty fun, though. I taught little bro how to crochet, and we got him started on a scarf before the end of the trip. I, having finished the baby thing, crocheted squares for an afghan. We had actually picked out the yarn and pattern at the beginning of summer, but I like the one project at a time plan. If I have to finish something before I can start the next thing, projects actually get completed. There was an enormous amount of time that gets spent on sitting and talking during these trips, so I got a lot done. After completing four squares in three days, I'm currently on square 9 of 20.
My left wrist is in a brace for the next ten days. I've had a ganglion that pops up randomly for a couple years now. This year it's been hurting and is hard rather than soft. I went to see the doctor about it. He stuck needles in my wrist to drain it, prescribed the usual antibiotic and anti-inflammatory and said to keep it splinted for ten days. It's kinda hard to play the violin, but I can crochet just fine. -sigh- Just when I was practicing again. Honestly, I don't mind as long as the pain goes away.
I'm not sure if there is much else to say. Life rolls onward until it ends.
Until next time,
Greeny
My left wrist is in a brace for the next ten days. I've had a ganglion that pops up randomly for a couple years now. This year it's been hurting and is hard rather than soft. I went to see the doctor about it. He stuck needles in my wrist to drain it, prescribed the usual antibiotic and anti-inflammatory and said to keep it splinted for ten days. It's kinda hard to play the violin, but I can crochet just fine. -sigh- Just when I was practicing again. Honestly, I don't mind as long as the pain goes away.
I'm not sure if there is much else to say. Life rolls onward until it ends.
Until next time,
Greeny
Weird and Interesting times
Apparently, after a week, the update thingy saying how long it's been since you posted doesn't count days anymore. It just says "one week" until the next week goes by. Today it said "two weeks". That was somewhat startling when it happened. One day I'm doing my semi-normal thing of not posting for a week and the next I'm into unknown territory. This post is the result, so perhaps my readers (assuming there are any left) should vote on how long I should wait between posts?
Oddly enough, these past...two weeks...have been pretty interesting. Me and my youngest brother went on a shopping spree and saw a drum-off at Guitar Center (tm, I'm sure). We get along very well, my brother and I. Mainly it's because we have very similar interests. We both like classical music (that was a surprise, a very pleasant one), we both are dedicated hobbyists (I do TV and reading, he does online anime and manga), and our minds just work the same, meaning we can talk pretty easily.
The drum-off wasn't that great. It was the first of several, with the final coming up this week, so we didn't get to see the cream of the crop. However, I did buy a new cable for my electric violin, which was exciting for me. I hardly ever buy anything band-related.
I am inching forward on the knitting. Yes, I know I thought it would get done two weeks ago. I just haven't. This makes me a horribly efficient procrastinator. (One of my habits is to make my worst faults into something I can say cheerfully). So, I'm closer. The arms and neck are done. I've just got to do the ridiculously simple duplicate stitching to make the Taurus on the front. I've even practiced the stitch and everything, but it seems like the only time I knit is in knitting group (Thursdays, 12-2pm), and there is only so much one can get done in two hours.
Lastly, my family went down to Dallas last Friday in order to do a long put-off and eagerly awaited thing: have a wedding reception. Sounds odd, yes? My older sister and her fiance got married last year in May (the 24th, if ya'll were wondering), but....kept it secret. They didn't want the wedding itself to be a big deal because of finances. So there we were, happily helping her plan stuff out during their visit at Christmas when they decided to tell us about it. Now, how could we be upset, exactly? They did something good: getting married and saving money. My problem was the whole "lie for eight months" about it. I'm a pretty truthful person, or I try to be, and there is no way I would do something like that to my family. There wasn't much I could do about that seemed helpful, though, so I let it lie (or would that be lay?).
The party totally made up for everything.
I wasn't expecting to have so much fun, nor talk to so many people, nor dance with nearly everyone (part of the plan, more later), and I certainly didn't expect to get hit on. Most of all, I didn't expect to cry.
It seems like my best plans are made spur-of-the-moment, from going exploring in town to finding a movie to watch because of boredom. I made a plan right after I arrived at the party: 1) Dance with everyone who says 'yes'. 2) Eat anything and everything I want (stretchy dresses and wonderful hors deouvres go very well together). 3) Drink a modest amount of alcohol. And I did so. Parties bring out my fun side. Perhaps that's because I've never had a truly horrible experience at good parties. In any case, I see no reason not to enjoy myself as long as I don't make myself sick. The plan brought about the first four of my "wasn't expectings", which tells you how good a plan it was. My last one was because of another tradition: the father-daughter dance. There was my older sis, looking like the queen of the night in her very dark blue dress and up-do (she's never been one for white), and there was my dad, looking nearly the same as I've ever seen him (I envied adults in puberty for their unchanging physical attributes), dancing to "A Wonderful World", finally acknowledging something that happened a year-and-a-half ago. I'm sure there will be pictures, my aunt is a good photographer. I may keep one, it's a good memory.
Additionally, there was a mother-son dance, of which I approved in a slightly less emotional manner. It just seemed right. The whole party seemed right, correct, and needful, even. There was a void in our understanding of what my sister and her husband were until then. Being told they married is one thing, celebrating it was something else altogether.
Since then, life has gone back to normal, however much I wish to change it. At least we have a great party (one of my first) to remember.
Until next time,
Greene
Oddly enough, these past...two weeks...have been pretty interesting. Me and my youngest brother went on a shopping spree and saw a drum-off at Guitar Center (tm, I'm sure). We get along very well, my brother and I. Mainly it's because we have very similar interests. We both like classical music (that was a surprise, a very pleasant one), we both are dedicated hobbyists (I do TV and reading, he does online anime and manga), and our minds just work the same, meaning we can talk pretty easily.
The drum-off wasn't that great. It was the first of several, with the final coming up this week, so we didn't get to see the cream of the crop. However, I did buy a new cable for my electric violin, which was exciting for me. I hardly ever buy anything band-related.
I am inching forward on the knitting. Yes, I know I thought it would get done two weeks ago. I just haven't. This makes me a horribly efficient procrastinator. (One of my habits is to make my worst faults into something I can say cheerfully). So, I'm closer. The arms and neck are done. I've just got to do the ridiculously simple duplicate stitching to make the Taurus on the front. I've even practiced the stitch and everything, but it seems like the only time I knit is in knitting group (Thursdays, 12-2pm), and there is only so much one can get done in two hours.
Lastly, my family went down to Dallas last Friday in order to do a long put-off and eagerly awaited thing: have a wedding reception. Sounds odd, yes? My older sister and her fiance got married last year in May (the 24th, if ya'll were wondering), but....kept it secret. They didn't want the wedding itself to be a big deal because of finances. So there we were, happily helping her plan stuff out during their visit at Christmas when they decided to tell us about it. Now, how could we be upset, exactly? They did something good: getting married and saving money. My problem was the whole "lie for eight months" about it. I'm a pretty truthful person, or I try to be, and there is no way I would do something like that to my family. There wasn't much I could do about that seemed helpful, though, so I let it lie (or would that be lay?).
The party totally made up for everything.
I wasn't expecting to have so much fun, nor talk to so many people, nor dance with nearly everyone (part of the plan, more later), and I certainly didn't expect to get hit on. Most of all, I didn't expect to cry.
It seems like my best plans are made spur-of-the-moment, from going exploring in town to finding a movie to watch because of boredom. I made a plan right after I arrived at the party: 1) Dance with everyone who says 'yes'. 2) Eat anything and everything I want (stretchy dresses and wonderful hors deouvres go very well together). 3) Drink a modest amount of alcohol. And I did so. Parties bring out my fun side. Perhaps that's because I've never had a truly horrible experience at good parties. In any case, I see no reason not to enjoy myself as long as I don't make myself sick. The plan brought about the first four of my "wasn't expectings", which tells you how good a plan it was. My last one was because of another tradition: the father-daughter dance. There was my older sis, looking like the queen of the night in her very dark blue dress and up-do (she's never been one for white), and there was my dad, looking nearly the same as I've ever seen him (I envied adults in puberty for their unchanging physical attributes), dancing to "A Wonderful World", finally acknowledging something that happened a year-and-a-half ago. I'm sure there will be pictures, my aunt is a good photographer. I may keep one, it's a good memory.
Additionally, there was a mother-son dance, of which I approved in a slightly less emotional manner. It just seemed right. The whole party seemed right, correct, and needful, even. There was a void in our understanding of what my sister and her husband were until then. Being told they married is one thing, celebrating it was something else altogether.
Since then, life has gone back to normal, however much I wish to change it. At least we have a great party (one of my first) to remember.
Until next time,
Greene
(no subject)
I woke up at 9:30 today. The light was shining through the window in a way that made me nostalgic. Getting up at 6:30 means you get up before the sun. While the idea of rising with the sun is a romantic one, I think I prefer the glow of mid-morning to wake up in.
The baby thing is progressing. I've attached the edging to the sleeves and have only the birth sign, ends, and buttons to put on. I'm anticipating getting it done this week.
In other news, my lessons have suddenly become boring. I'm trying to figure out how to put some pep back into them. I've bought some bridge mix to snack on as I wast my time reading fan-fiction, and I am unclear whether I actually have a lesson to take with Maureen this week. I'm pretty boring, overall.
Variety, here I come.
Greeny
The baby thing is progressing. I've attached the edging to the sleeves and have only the birth sign, ends, and buttons to put on. I'm anticipating getting it done this week.
In other news, my lessons have suddenly become boring. I'm trying to figure out how to put some pep back into them. I've bought some bridge mix to snack on as I wast my time reading fan-fiction, and I am unclear whether I actually have a lesson to take with Maureen this week. I'm pretty boring, overall.
Variety, here I come.
Greeny
Entry tags:
Big and little stories, of varying entertainment value
I have two things to relate, and then I shall be annoyingly silent once again.
Several days ago I woke up at my now normal yet still ridiculous hour of 6:30am (yes, I know, you get up earlier, :P) and, to my great surprise, heard my mother talking on the phone to someone. I was upstairs and she was downstairs. (Sound carries really well in our house. I think the builders must have felt that insulation was for weaklings.) The conversation, I soon figured out, due to numerous references to an upcoming party, was with my older sister. On that note: HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY, sis! The funny thing is, I knew only two ways she could have been up at that hour. She could a): stay up all night, or b): get up at 6:30am.
Everyone who knows my older sister has figured it out by now. She is a night owl by nature, of course she stayed up all night. Planning everything is apparently rather stressful. I told her via mom that I'm not coming for the decorations, but for her, and that food would be cool. I've never been hard to please when it comes to social gatherings. It's rather exciting, getting to celebrate a wedding I didn't get to attend.
Secondly, life is inching forward. Band is the same (I will be practicing for it as soon as I'm done here), we're just closer to being a fully functional one than we have ever been (only another hour of music to learn!). I've been sprucing up my office space where I work for my dad. Bookkeeping for him is going slowly, but at least it's going. I finally managed to buy theory books for my students today after two weeks of being cursed to get to the music store an hour before or after it opens/closes (one unfortunate side effect of getting up at 6:30 in the morning). The fanfiction still fascinates, but I'm trying to keep it from taking over. Okay, that was lots of little stories, but I bet you all liked it better than that first sentence.
And that's all, folks.
Greeny
Several days ago I woke up at my now normal yet still ridiculous hour of 6:30am (yes, I know, you get up earlier, :P) and, to my great surprise, heard my mother talking on the phone to someone. I was upstairs and she was downstairs. (Sound carries really well in our house. I think the builders must have felt that insulation was for weaklings.) The conversation, I soon figured out, due to numerous references to an upcoming party, was with my older sister. On that note: HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY, sis! The funny thing is, I knew only two ways she could have been up at that hour. She could a): stay up all night, or b): get up at 6:30am.
Everyone who knows my older sister has figured it out by now. She is a night owl by nature, of course she stayed up all night. Planning everything is apparently rather stressful. I told her via mom that I'm not coming for the decorations, but for her, and that food would be cool. I've never been hard to please when it comes to social gatherings. It's rather exciting, getting to celebrate a wedding I didn't get to attend.
Secondly, life is inching forward. Band is the same (I will be practicing for it as soon as I'm done here), we're just closer to being a fully functional one than we have ever been (only another hour of music to learn!). I've been sprucing up my office space where I work for my dad. Bookkeeping for him is going slowly, but at least it's going. I finally managed to buy theory books for my students today after two weeks of being cursed to get to the music store an hour before or after it opens/closes (one unfortunate side effect of getting up at 6:30 in the morning). The fanfiction still fascinates, but I'm trying to keep it from taking over. Okay, that was lots of little stories, but I bet you all liked it better than that first sentence.
And that's all, folks.
Greeny