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I have discovered Billa.
Das ist wunderbar! (This is wonderful!) Billa, for those of you not from Austria, is a supermarket. Now, what is so great about a supermarket, you ask? The selection. More specifically the large selection. I love Billa.
I've never been in the situation of limited supply before, where you only get one or two types (if they have it at all) of anything, especially food. Getting here, there are two very convenient grocery stores on the corner, but the lack of selection is frustrating. I didn't think much of it until I went to Billa. To repeat: Billa is my friend, and I love this chain of supermarkets more than I have ever loved any store, except maybe Stone Cold Creamery. Let us call it a tie.
As for my title, I am still not over staying up 'til 6:30 am on Tuesday. Today was better than yesterday in terms of effects, but looking through water is how I see when I am very tired and trying to concentrate.
Speaking of effects, let us recap the day.
I went to my 8:30am (!) lesson because we had a German test at 10am. The lesson itself was about half what it could be in terms of time because...Now, I don't want to alarm anyone (Mother). However, there was crying. Not because of a bad teacher, I really like Barbara, my only complaint with her is that she talks too much. But she is nice, positive, believes in me, not always clear as her first language is Polish, but overall all the things a good teacher is.
I cried from a sensory overload of sorts, I think. This also happened with a different teacher, a male pianist, he turned out unpleasant. But I cried at his lessons because of his playing, it was so lovely and technically proficient that I felt extremely inadequate. Barbara is the same way, sort of. I don't admire her playing the same way, but she is also formidable, and has very high standards. So being the object of her critical (in a good way) attention is scary. I also still feel inadequate. I have never believed myself to be capable of anything when it comes to violin. At school for the past year I have felt that I am not in the same 'class' as the other students, because I am not as focused on the music, practicing, or whatever. However, my teachers obviously believe I am, or can be because they keep teaching me and supporting my delusions of grandeur as a violinist in an orchestra and violin teacher.
The main reason for it all: I don't believe I can improve on my own. This seems an odd reason, but lack of control is a big deal to me. Barbara handled my breakdown gracefully, and when it became apparent I couldn't/shouldn't play due to an overabundance of emotion, she offered me a cup of tea. This offer is obviously not just an English thing. She even asked me what type I wanted. (side note: Billa has an entire aisle dedicated to coffee and tea). Then, after finding my reason, she thoroughly debunked it. To paraphrase: Anyone can do what a proffessional violinist can, as we are all human beings with the same mechanics. The difference is practice and attention to detail. Proffessional musicians practice 5-6 hours a day if possible.
I am less than half that dedicated at present. Onward! She talked, I added a few ideas, finished my tea, and we continued the lesson. This made me late for the German test. But I got some gummy bears before (Ahoy, comfort food) and the test wasn't that hard. After that was Performance Workshop. This is where the bleariness really set in, and playing in the assorted chamber music was harder than usual. I got lost several times, and this music is actually pretty easy. Ah, well.
Then there was rehearsal of yet more chamber music with Barbara, and I went to Billa (see above) and went home with Barbara because I had left my jacket there, she gave me chocolate (yipee!) and here I am, some hours later.
Do I want to practice more? If it helps. As of this semester, it will be hard to practice much more than 2 hours every day because we generally have class to 4-6:30pm. And I have two other classes to study for. I suppose I could practice more during the weekend, I don't know.
Not this Friday and Saturday, though. There is an IES excursion to Salzburg. I am happy. It has many places associated with Beethoven (it is his birthplace) and "The Sound of Music". This film's popularity is astounding to Austrians. Most of them haven't seen it, while it is a classic in the USA. It will be fun to visit the sites associated with it and perhaps sing "Do, a deer". That is a rather likely possibility, as we have 10 singers in our group.
Das ist wunderbar! (This is wonderful!) Billa, for those of you not from Austria, is a supermarket. Now, what is so great about a supermarket, you ask? The selection. More specifically the large selection. I love Billa.
I've never been in the situation of limited supply before, where you only get one or two types (if they have it at all) of anything, especially food. Getting here, there are two very convenient grocery stores on the corner, but the lack of selection is frustrating. I didn't think much of it until I went to Billa. To repeat: Billa is my friend, and I love this chain of supermarkets more than I have ever loved any store, except maybe Stone Cold Creamery. Let us call it a tie.
As for my title, I am still not over staying up 'til 6:30 am on Tuesday. Today was better than yesterday in terms of effects, but looking through water is how I see when I am very tired and trying to concentrate.
Speaking of effects, let us recap the day.
I went to my 8:30am (!) lesson because we had a German test at 10am. The lesson itself was about half what it could be in terms of time because...Now, I don't want to alarm anyone (Mother). However, there was crying. Not because of a bad teacher, I really like Barbara, my only complaint with her is that she talks too much. But she is nice, positive, believes in me, not always clear as her first language is Polish, but overall all the things a good teacher is.
I cried from a sensory overload of sorts, I think. This also happened with a different teacher, a male pianist, he turned out unpleasant. But I cried at his lessons because of his playing, it was so lovely and technically proficient that I felt extremely inadequate. Barbara is the same way, sort of. I don't admire her playing the same way, but she is also formidable, and has very high standards. So being the object of her critical (in a good way) attention is scary. I also still feel inadequate. I have never believed myself to be capable of anything when it comes to violin. At school for the past year I have felt that I am not in the same 'class' as the other students, because I am not as focused on the music, practicing, or whatever. However, my teachers obviously believe I am, or can be because they keep teaching me and supporting my delusions of grandeur as a violinist in an orchestra and violin teacher.
The main reason for it all: I don't believe I can improve on my own. This seems an odd reason, but lack of control is a big deal to me. Barbara handled my breakdown gracefully, and when it became apparent I couldn't/shouldn't play due to an overabundance of emotion, she offered me a cup of tea. This offer is obviously not just an English thing. She even asked me what type I wanted. (side note: Billa has an entire aisle dedicated to coffee and tea). Then, after finding my reason, she thoroughly debunked it. To paraphrase: Anyone can do what a proffessional violinist can, as we are all human beings with the same mechanics. The difference is practice and attention to detail. Proffessional musicians practice 5-6 hours a day if possible.
I am less than half that dedicated at present. Onward! She talked, I added a few ideas, finished my tea, and we continued the lesson. This made me late for the German test. But I got some gummy bears before (Ahoy, comfort food) and the test wasn't that hard. After that was Performance Workshop. This is where the bleariness really set in, and playing in the assorted chamber music was harder than usual. I got lost several times, and this music is actually pretty easy. Ah, well.
Then there was rehearsal of yet more chamber music with Barbara, and I went to Billa (see above) and went home with Barbara because I had left my jacket there, she gave me chocolate (yipee!) and here I am, some hours later.
Do I want to practice more? If it helps. As of this semester, it will be hard to practice much more than 2 hours every day because we generally have class to 4-6:30pm. And I have two other classes to study for. I suppose I could practice more during the weekend, I don't know.
Not this Friday and Saturday, though. There is an IES excursion to Salzburg. I am happy. It has many places associated with Beethoven (it is his birthplace) and "The Sound of Music". This film's popularity is astounding to Austrians. Most of them haven't seen it, while it is a classic in the USA. It will be fun to visit the sites associated with it and perhaps sing "Do, a deer". That is a rather likely possibility, as we have 10 singers in our group.
