deepgreen18

I'm so very tired. Also, I'm being hit with the enormity of getting my senior recital done. I hadn't prepared, mentally and emotionally, for finishing that hurdle. It went really well, by all accounts. I was extremely anxious before-hand (had some very serious thoughts about calling the whole thing off, in fact), but I went through with it and I just was during the event. I do find it rather amazing how much one can think about while performing a piece. I kept "waking up" and thinking, "Why is this taking so long? What does everyone think? Wow, I'm glad this is being recorded" and much else.

I received some early graduation presents at the end of the night. Mom also brought my new class ring, which just came in. Out with the old, in with the new. I'm having a hard time accepting that I'm leaving, and that it's a good thing.

One more paper. It should have been done last week, but I think you all know what happened last week. Two more finals. No more concerts/recitals, but lots of luncheons and events that "honor" graduates. As long as they feed me, I'll be okay.

As expected, there was little-to-no knitting, and also very little TV watching (they go hand in hand). I took the night off yesterday because of finishing the recital, but now I need to get writing again. I have three days, it's going to work out.

Until next time.
Greeny

Wow, I did it again. Not that I really cared about or was aiming for a regularly-timed post, but I wasn't expecting the time to just fly away on little birdie wings. 'Tis all good, Spring Break is over, just about. The good news is my hand doesn't hurt anymore, the bad news is I haven't finished my lovely break assignments, or practiced much (I did yesterday, though, and I'm proud). Not a lot has gotten done because I've felt rather sick over the last two days, but I'm better now. I'm very tempted to be overly optimistic and say "Of course I can read 126 pages of Milton in one day! I read a whole 350 page book for pleasure yesterday, didn't I?" However, Milton is not pleasure reading, it's epic un-rhymed poetry about the fall of man. That makes it very hard for me to keep at it for more than ten pages at a time, because I really have to pay attention or it doesn't make sense. Dang 17th century English. I have gotten through 60 pages of it in 3-10 page spurts over the last week, and that is extremely helpful in making me not freak out over the sheer amount of pages to read, and sure I'll get at least a 40 percent on the quiz about it tomorrow.

I really can't believe that my undergraduate career is finishing. As the end gets nearer, I get more nervous. At least I'm not freezing up due to overwhelmedness anymore. I just have to keep working at it: practicing, studying, writing papers. I know I'm not the first or the will be the last to person to graduate (in the world or my family), but there's a reason this is scary. Thankfully I have a plan for the next year, but life has always been so uncertain. It's so often we don't know what we're doing until we do it. Teaching kids violin, staying in school, living a life. Sometimes I feel so lost in it, but what can you do? Keep working at it and hope eventually it makes some sort of sense.
I don't think it ever will completely, though. Mom has said that she thought she figured it all out somewhere between getting married and having us kids, and then she found out later it was quite wrong. I almost want to feel as though its all figured out, just for the comfort, but I'd like to think I'm smarter than that. Being smart can really put a glimmer of doom on things, sometimes.

Sorry to end on such a sad note, but that is where the post lead today. On a slightly less gloomy note, i finished on sock, started the second quite handily, and am now past the 3 inch mark on it. I expect it will be finished in two weeks or so,  as school does not lend itself to masses of free time. I had always wondered how long socks took to make, and now I know: with my speed (30 stitches a minute), and an hour or two a day, about 1-2 weeks per sock. It's a shorter project compared to shirts and sweaters.

I think I've talked myself out,
Later,
Greeny