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Porgy and Bess
Feb. 27th, 2011 05:04 pmI had a concert last night. My school orchestra (we call it the Philharmonia) performed excerpts from Porgy and Bess. I've been enjoying playing the pieces, as they are quite different from the usual Classical fare, and extremely well suited to the story they portray. George Gershwin knew what he was doing when he wrote this, and did it well with this opera.
Performing this piece reminded me of why I enjoy playing with a large group so much. As we went through the beginning of the first act, there is a classic buildup in volume and speed. One of the themes of the opera is the music imitating a train, which is a lot of fun. So here we are, piano leading to choir giving way to brass and finally joining in with strings. The moments of that were almost perfect in their synchronicity. Everyone was playing the same music, listening to each other, and watching our conductor for the beat. The feeling of collective gathering was palpable to me, and the music was so clear. The first time that ever happened to me I got chills, a large emotional reaction, and was rather scared of it, actually. It took me several years to understand that these rare moments of clarity in music are something for which to strive.
It is a shame we cannot do that more often, but it is a college orchestra that tends to disappoint those with high expectations more often than not. Still, though, we had it that time, and that will encourage me until I feel it again.
Greeny
Performing this piece reminded me of why I enjoy playing with a large group so much. As we went through the beginning of the first act, there is a classic buildup in volume and speed. One of the themes of the opera is the music imitating a train, which is a lot of fun. So here we are, piano leading to choir giving way to brass and finally joining in with strings. The moments of that were almost perfect in their synchronicity. Everyone was playing the same music, listening to each other, and watching our conductor for the beat. The feeling of collective gathering was palpable to me, and the music was so clear. The first time that ever happened to me I got chills, a large emotional reaction, and was rather scared of it, actually. It took me several years to understand that these rare moments of clarity in music are something for which to strive.
It is a shame we cannot do that more often, but it is a college orchestra that tends to disappoint those with high expectations more often than not. Still, though, we had it that time, and that will encourage me until I feel it again.
Greeny
Tags:
Human Activities
Feb. 24th, 2011 03:57 pmHistory, to me, or even reading about a particular experience, elevates it into something mystical, crazy difficult, unrelatable and unachievable. This feeling is a lie.
Human history was made by the acts of fellow human beings, something I am constantly made aware of in my Music History class. Mozart was a great virtuoso, yes, but he also traveled in horrid conditions, got sick, played string quartets for entertainment, rebelled against his father and employer, had money problems, oh, and along the way learned a lot about and composed many kinds of music.
We can do the things older generations have done. We DO do those things still. Mozart is still played today, for instance. On a more basic level: we speak, sing, teach each other, create art, observe religious practices, create stories, and make many, many things: food, medicine, clothing, shelter.
Sometimes I am amazed at how basic life is. I realized this while I was cooking, first. We only have three main types of food: proteins, fats, and carbohydrates. We only have so many types of meat, veggies, fruits, and grains. Liquids, at their most basic level, all derive from water.
The beauty of food (and any other human activity) is when we mix these ingredients together in new/different/old ways. We can go Spartan-ly simple (fried eggs with salt and pepper), or ridiculously complex (10 ingredient omelet). We can surprise ourselves and others when we take our traditions (which were, once upon a time, innovations) and tweak them just enough to get a new experience.
If we are dedicated to a skill, we are able take something basic to the human experience and turn it into an art.
This all lead me to a question that I really like: What skills do I want to become good at? Personally, a lot of things: Teaching, music, drawing and painting, dancing, cooking, knitting/crocheting, flying, understanding people, having sex, writing, and there will be more as time progresses. This is the essence of human life, I think. Gaining skills and sharing them with others.
What do you want to become good at? What are the basic ingredients of your art?
Human history was made by the acts of fellow human beings, something I am constantly made aware of in my Music History class. Mozart was a great virtuoso, yes, but he also traveled in horrid conditions, got sick, played string quartets for entertainment, rebelled against his father and employer, had money problems, oh, and along the way learned a lot about and composed many kinds of music.
We can do the things older generations have done. We DO do those things still. Mozart is still played today, for instance. On a more basic level: we speak, sing, teach each other, create art, observe religious practices, create stories, and make many, many things: food, medicine, clothing, shelter.
Sometimes I am amazed at how basic life is. I realized this while I was cooking, first. We only have three main types of food: proteins, fats, and carbohydrates. We only have so many types of meat, veggies, fruits, and grains. Liquids, at their most basic level, all derive from water.
The beauty of food (and any other human activity) is when we mix these ingredients together in new/different/old ways. We can go Spartan-ly simple (fried eggs with salt and pepper), or ridiculously complex (10 ingredient omelet). We can surprise ourselves and others when we take our traditions (which were, once upon a time, innovations) and tweak them just enough to get a new experience.
If we are dedicated to a skill, we are able take something basic to the human experience and turn it into an art.
This all lead me to a question that I really like: What skills do I want to become good at? Personally, a lot of things: Teaching, music, drawing and painting, dancing, cooking, knitting/crocheting, flying, understanding people, having sex, writing, and there will be more as time progresses. This is the essence of human life, I think. Gaining skills and sharing them with others.
What do you want to become good at? What are the basic ingredients of your art?
Tags:
Monthly Rant, beware
Jan. 16th, 2011 09:34 pmIt seems most of my journal(s) purpose is to take the brunt of my frustration. Frustration at the world, myself, the other people in it, and stupidity in general. I am PMS-ing, I know this for a fact. I'm sore in odd places, and It makes me cranky in the mornings, exultant, teary, and sad later on. I don't think the Smirnoff I had earlier is helping.
At least I have somewhere to blow off some freaking steam. Yesterday (after I left my purse at a restaurant, joy) I wrote it out along with notes on the orchestra performance I was attending. Very spur-of-the-moment decision, I'm still not sure if it was a good one. The performance was wonderful (eigth blackbird is awesome, as is the Garden of Cosmic Speculation, and its music), but the trip, and the feelings, ehh. I've just felt extremely awkward and willing to cry for the past week, which is why I'm writing. If I can get it out of my system, I'll feel better. The problem with writing down your feelings to mute them, is that you have to know what you are feeling.
Frustration...yep, I almost got my purse back last night, but the concert went long and the station manager had left for the night before I could get there. Apparently (though I don't think I trust the Burger King idiot who said this) I missed him by about 5 minutes. Damn long concert. Also, I was going to go get it today, except my purse contains a good portion of my life, and that includes all my cash, as well as my bank card and checks. Not to mention the bank is fricking closed on Sunday, and tomorrow is MLK day, so no getting cash out of them with a bank statement or utility bill. No phone either, so I can't call the fracking lost and found to find out where they are because, guess what? All they have online is a phone number. Sweet, horrible irony, thy name is Elizabeth traveling.
I misplaced my purse/wallet/keys thrice in Vienna, and I have a slight history of leaving my purse behind (The muskogee mall, at the food court and the dressing rooms, Pizza Hut). I'm not sure I ever wrote that down. So far, I've been lucky enough not to have anything worse happen to me than to lose some money. It can't last, I'm sure, but I'm grateful that some honest person has been there to save me each time. They are the reason I believe in humanity, and always take lost objects to the Lost and Found myself. "Do unto others..." after all.
Oddly, the similarities between my Vienna experiences and this latest trip are what stand out the most to me. I was/am far away from my family, I had/have few friends there/here, and felt alienated because of differences in attire/accessories (I dressed much nicer than the norm in Vienna, slacks and blouses to everyone else's jeans and t-shirts. Yesterday I brought a backpack containing my laptop, sushi, my purse, and knitting to entertain myself, everyone else had purse-size bags at most). At least this time there wasn't a freaking language difference.
Sadness: I miss my family (I want to capitalize that word, but we're not the Mafia, alas), I want to do better in school this time around but old habits are hard to break, though I've been sleeping well this past week, at least. I've been getting unusually tired this past week, but having trouble going to sleep once I'm in bed. Unusual trouble for me. I miss the certainty that I can walk downstairs and play Rockband until someone comes poking around for company. Living alone is not my thing.
I tried to have a sushi party today, but it got derailed by bad planning on my guests part. They were having their own party. They invited me, but I couldn't go thanks to the stupid purse craziness today. I made sushi Friday night, and took it with me to eat at anime club. It was well received by the few I shared it with, and I liked it, too. Today I've been reading fanfiction, interspersed with attempts at planning the retrieval. F$#@ing purse. I want to go to bed now, but don't think I'll sleep. I should try to get money from Walmart anyway. It's so fricking silent right now. Music would be good.
At least I have somewhere to blow off some freaking steam. Yesterday (after I left my purse at a restaurant, joy) I wrote it out along with notes on the orchestra performance I was attending. Very spur-of-the-moment decision, I'm still not sure if it was a good one. The performance was wonderful (eigth blackbird is awesome, as is the Garden of Cosmic Speculation, and its music), but the trip, and the feelings, ehh. I've just felt extremely awkward and willing to cry for the past week, which is why I'm writing. If I can get it out of my system, I'll feel better. The problem with writing down your feelings to mute them, is that you have to know what you are feeling.
Frustration...yep, I almost got my purse back last night, but the concert went long and the station manager had left for the night before I could get there. Apparently (though I don't think I trust the Burger King idiot who said this) I missed him by about 5 minutes. Damn long concert. Also, I was going to go get it today, except my purse contains a good portion of my life, and that includes all my cash, as well as my bank card and checks. Not to mention the bank is fricking closed on Sunday, and tomorrow is MLK day, so no getting cash out of them with a bank statement or utility bill. No phone either, so I can't call the fracking lost and found to find out where they are because, guess what? All they have online is a phone number. Sweet, horrible irony, thy name is Elizabeth traveling.
I misplaced my purse/wallet/keys thrice in Vienna, and I have a slight history of leaving my purse behind (The muskogee mall, at the food court and the dressing rooms, Pizza Hut). I'm not sure I ever wrote that down. So far, I've been lucky enough not to have anything worse happen to me than to lose some money. It can't last, I'm sure, but I'm grateful that some honest person has been there to save me each time. They are the reason I believe in humanity, and always take lost objects to the Lost and Found myself. "Do unto others..." after all.
Oddly, the similarities between my Vienna experiences and this latest trip are what stand out the most to me. I was/am far away from my family, I had/have few friends there/here, and felt alienated because of differences in attire/accessories (I dressed much nicer than the norm in Vienna, slacks and blouses to everyone else's jeans and t-shirts. Yesterday I brought a backpack containing my laptop, sushi, my purse, and knitting to entertain myself, everyone else had purse-size bags at most). At least this time there wasn't a freaking language difference.
Sadness: I miss my family (I want to capitalize that word, but we're not the Mafia, alas), I want to do better in school this time around but old habits are hard to break, though I've been sleeping well this past week, at least. I've been getting unusually tired this past week, but having trouble going to sleep once I'm in bed. Unusual trouble for me. I miss the certainty that I can walk downstairs and play Rockband until someone comes poking around for company. Living alone is not my thing.
I tried to have a sushi party today, but it got derailed by bad planning on my guests part. They were having their own party. They invited me, but I couldn't go thanks to the stupid purse craziness today. I made sushi Friday night, and took it with me to eat at anime club. It was well received by the few I shared it with, and I liked it, too. Today I've been reading fanfiction, interspersed with attempts at planning the retrieval. F$#@ing purse. I want to go to bed now, but don't think I'll sleep. I should try to get money from Walmart anyway. It's so fricking silent right now. Music would be good.
(no subject)
Dec. 9th, 2010 09:38 pmThis has truly been a remarkable semester.
I've lived alone for the first time in my life.
I've lost my care for things. This one is hard to explain. Basically, my innate motivation, forward momentum? Has been stilled. Living alone has played a huge part in this, I believe.
Not only that, but I've been chin-deep in denial of my feelings about my entire experience here from the beginning.
Not three weeks here, I read this article about a man who changed professions often. His posited reason for it was that he asked himself "Am I passionate about this?" and if the answer was "No" he'd move on. I, of course, asked myself that question. Immediately, I shied away from the answer, but it has affected my performance and happiness so much that I must now face it. I'm not particularly passionate about performing. In fact, I rather dislike it. So why am I getting a Master's degree in it? Simply put, it is what I felt qualified to do. That is why I chose a music major in undergrad, as well. Not a great idea, it seems.
I've been to visit a career counselor, but I feel the main effort must be made by me. (Alliteration, ah, my love.) I've never felt that I'm good at self-fulfillment. Searching for jobs, schools? My pattern thus far has been to procrastinate with abandon and then only make a token effort. The most successful attempts I've made to date have been my trip to Vienna (got that application done in a week, deadlines), and my application to the Musick School. Perhaps the school-searching didn't go so well the two times I've done it because 1) I didn't know what I wanted to do the first time, and hello! Fear of the unknown. Plus 2) I subconsciously knew that performance wasn't my passion.
My one-on-one counselor said yesterday that life is too short not to be doing what you love. It felt like a cliche then, but resonates more today. I don't want to be stuck doing something distasteful to me.
I have another appointment with my counselor tomorrow. Haven't done much for it yet, though I have "plans" and some time before bed to rectify this situation.
There's only three things left here to do: The Centennial Concert, my jury, and my history final. I'm not looking forward eagerly to any of them just now, and I won't unless I do my fricking practice/homework. It is frustrating to be at the end of a cycle of not doing my homework/practice. It makes it so easy to just ignore it. I figured out why I was ignoring it in the first place, though. While I was homeschooling, homework didn't feel all that important, and I had a remarkable tendency to do it every day (don't ask me where it came from, I'm just glad it happened like that). Then in undergrad I had a roommate that I would go and talk to/at when I knew I needed to do my work, but didn't have the gumption. More often than not, I talked myself into doing it. Also, she set a fine example for me. This is sort of replacing that. I think it would work better if I said it aloud, and had someone to be accountable to, so no more living alone for me after my apartment contract runs out.
I'm rather afraid of the future right now. I don't know what I'll be doing next semester besides classes. Searching, I guess. I hate searching. This doesn't bode well for the search. Sometimes I can get into it. My car search, for example. Mom had to really prod me into it, but once I got going it only took a couple of days. Strict parameters help, but what parameters can one really give oneself for their life?
I like to say I'll try anything once (excepting that stuff someone else tried and it turned out badly), but I haven't really tried all that much career-wise. I've been a secretary of sorts, filing, stuffing envelopes, answering the phone, doing the books for my father, and later my boss at the aforementioned school. I've been a music teacher and mentor mostly for children ages 5-13, with a few college age people (19-27) and a couple retirees (65-ish). Technically, I've been a cashier and janitor. Oh, don't forget a babysitter, house-cleaner, and groundskeeper. People generally have lots of odd job experience, I guess.
I kind of want to do the horribly cliche jobs: waitress, and...well, that's it, really. Maybe Walmart employee, what do they call them? Associates. I'm tempted to say denizen, or minion. However, I've started to distrust my own judgment. This is near the same impulse that had me trying to live alone, you see. I kind of know I'll dislike it, but I don't really know that until I try. Tempting...but I'd really rather avoid any more job-related mental scarring.
My job counselor lady wanted me to check out the curriculum/requirements for my prospective job ideas, take the little self-tests, and, well, I don't know what her expectations are about job-shadowing. I just know she wants me to do it, and I want to as well, though it is something entirely outside my previous experience. Can you truly gain experience without experiencing something first-hand, though observation is considered first-hand knowledge, first-first-hand?
My main objection to this whole idea of pursuing happiness (thanks Lincoln) is that I'm not sure there is happiness out there for me. What if I perpetually stumble around being miserable for the rest of my life? Okay, I wasn't truly miserable last year (well, not the second half of it), but I wasn't fulfilled, either. Just existing, doing my job, waiting for something better. Funny how I can wait for and envision "something better" (or even something perfect), but I'm not sure I believe in it. What was the saying on top of one of the teacher here's door? "Don't believe everything you think". However, I found the quote: "Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do." to be much more inspirational, and true!
I want to be excellent. I want to have the habit of excellence. Right now I have the habit of laziness, I think. I get up and read, or listen to books and knit, or clean or make food. I basically do everything in my power to avoid my studies, practice and all. It is not such a shock that I'm not making progress, or enjoying the stagnation. I hate my habits, right now, shall I endeavor to change them?
I've lived alone for the first time in my life.
I've lost my care for things. This one is hard to explain. Basically, my innate motivation, forward momentum? Has been stilled. Living alone has played a huge part in this, I believe.
Not only that, but I've been chin-deep in denial of my feelings about my entire experience here from the beginning.
Not three weeks here, I read this article about a man who changed professions often. His posited reason for it was that he asked himself "Am I passionate about this?" and if the answer was "No" he'd move on. I, of course, asked myself that question. Immediately, I shied away from the answer, but it has affected my performance and happiness so much that I must now face it. I'm not particularly passionate about performing. In fact, I rather dislike it. So why am I getting a Master's degree in it? Simply put, it is what I felt qualified to do. That is why I chose a music major in undergrad, as well. Not a great idea, it seems.
I've been to visit a career counselor, but I feel the main effort must be made by me. (Alliteration, ah, my love.) I've never felt that I'm good at self-fulfillment. Searching for jobs, schools? My pattern thus far has been to procrastinate with abandon and then only make a token effort. The most successful attempts I've made to date have been my trip to Vienna (got that application done in a week, deadlines), and my application to the Musick School. Perhaps the school-searching didn't go so well the two times I've done it because 1) I didn't know what I wanted to do the first time, and hello! Fear of the unknown. Plus 2) I subconsciously knew that performance wasn't my passion.
My one-on-one counselor said yesterday that life is too short not to be doing what you love. It felt like a cliche then, but resonates more today. I don't want to be stuck doing something distasteful to me.
I have another appointment with my counselor tomorrow. Haven't done much for it yet, though I have "plans" and some time before bed to rectify this situation.
There's only three things left here to do: The Centennial Concert, my jury, and my history final. I'm not looking forward eagerly to any of them just now, and I won't unless I do my fricking practice/homework. It is frustrating to be at the end of a cycle of not doing my homework/practice. It makes it so easy to just ignore it. I figured out why I was ignoring it in the first place, though. While I was homeschooling, homework didn't feel all that important, and I had a remarkable tendency to do it every day (don't ask me where it came from, I'm just glad it happened like that). Then in undergrad I had a roommate that I would go and talk to/at when I knew I needed to do my work, but didn't have the gumption. More often than not, I talked myself into doing it. Also, she set a fine example for me. This is sort of replacing that. I think it would work better if I said it aloud, and had someone to be accountable to, so no more living alone for me after my apartment contract runs out.
I'm rather afraid of the future right now. I don't know what I'll be doing next semester besides classes. Searching, I guess. I hate searching. This doesn't bode well for the search. Sometimes I can get into it. My car search, for example. Mom had to really prod me into it, but once I got going it only took a couple of days. Strict parameters help, but what parameters can one really give oneself for their life?
I like to say I'll try anything once (excepting that stuff someone else tried and it turned out badly), but I haven't really tried all that much career-wise. I've been a secretary of sorts, filing, stuffing envelopes, answering the phone, doing the books for my father, and later my boss at the aforementioned school. I've been a music teacher and mentor mostly for children ages 5-13, with a few college age people (19-27) and a couple retirees (65-ish). Technically, I've been a cashier and janitor. Oh, don't forget a babysitter, house-cleaner, and groundskeeper. People generally have lots of odd job experience, I guess.
I kind of want to do the horribly cliche jobs: waitress, and...well, that's it, really. Maybe Walmart employee, what do they call them? Associates. I'm tempted to say denizen, or minion. However, I've started to distrust my own judgment. This is near the same impulse that had me trying to live alone, you see. I kind of know I'll dislike it, but I don't really know that until I try. Tempting...but I'd really rather avoid any more job-related mental scarring.
My job counselor lady wanted me to check out the curriculum/requirements for my prospective job ideas, take the little self-tests, and, well, I don't know what her expectations are about job-shadowing. I just know she wants me to do it, and I want to as well, though it is something entirely outside my previous experience. Can you truly gain experience without experiencing something first-hand, though observation is considered first-hand knowledge, first-first-hand?
My main objection to this whole idea of pursuing happiness (thanks Lincoln) is that I'm not sure there is happiness out there for me. What if I perpetually stumble around being miserable for the rest of my life? Okay, I wasn't truly miserable last year (well, not the second half of it), but I wasn't fulfilled, either. Just existing, doing my job, waiting for something better. Funny how I can wait for and envision "something better" (or even something perfect), but I'm not sure I believe in it. What was the saying on top of one of the teacher here's door? "Don't believe everything you think". However, I found the quote: "Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do." to be much more inspirational, and true!
I want to be excellent. I want to have the habit of excellence. Right now I have the habit of laziness, I think. I get up and read, or listen to books and knit, or clean or make food. I basically do everything in my power to avoid my studies, practice and all. It is not such a shock that I'm not making progress, or enjoying the stagnation. I hate my habits, right now, shall I endeavor to change them?
I don't remember my last post. It was probably two months ago or more. I've been shut down, in a way. Not acknowledging my feelings. Talking would have cracked that a bit. My teacher did that for me, right down the middle. A simple question: "Do you really want to be doing this?"
Simple enough answer: "No." Not like this, not anymore.
This entire semester has been...painful, difficult, not the worst I've ever experienced (reference, if you would, Spring and Summer 2005, and Spring 2009). However, it has been unique. I despise transition. Absolutely f-ing hate change with a passion that echoes through human history. I'm tempted to go find quotes on it...
"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory. ~W. Edwards Deming" (Found here. This is my personal favorite, though it is a bit...morbid).
I'm not going to use any others, it would ruin the mood.
Life, to me, is necessary, but to have change be such a big part of it...makes me snarl. And back bite. And generally be unpleasant until it's over (sorry Mom).
Unfortunately for...some people (possibly myself), the process isn't over yet. Hell, at least I feel qualified to make a damn career decision now. This is compared to three years ago. I wasn't, and knew it, but rules are rules. Four years of college (minimum, generally), decide on a major by end of second year. So sayeth the great rules of our academic system. It almost makes me want to cheer for the students in their sixth year of a Bachelors. Most of the time I feel pity, exasperation, and sympathetic exhaustion.
http://www.bls.gov/NLS/nlsfaqs.htm#anch41, Fricking Baby Boomers (Hi, Mom!) held an average of 14 jobs over their lives. Change is constant.
Change sucks.
P.S. (three jobs and counting...)
(1) I've been working for my Dad since I was ten. I've typed out file names, filed; folded papers, glued, and stamped envelopes; and, since 2004 or so, kept the accounts in a semblence of order.
(2) Aborted attempt at cashiering at a water park. So many issues gained in such a short time. (Fear of jobs, fear of getting fired, general phobia regarding the place). To this day I despise the smell of them.
(3) My most successful attempt at solvency to date: teaching music for two years. Was also the bookkeeper for about six months. I kept expecting to get fired, but that feeling stopped, eventually.
I guess, technically, I'm also a freelance musician/teacher, but that's not large enough for me to count yet.
Simple enough answer: "No." Not like this, not anymore.
This entire semester has been...painful, difficult, not the worst I've ever experienced (reference, if you would, Spring and Summer 2005, and Spring 2009). However, it has been unique. I despise transition. Absolutely f-ing hate change with a passion that echoes through human history. I'm tempted to go find quotes on it...
"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory. ~W. Edwards Deming" (Found here. This is my personal favorite, though it is a bit...morbid).
I'm not going to use any others, it would ruin the mood.
Life, to me, is necessary, but to have change be such a big part of it...makes me snarl. And back bite. And generally be unpleasant until it's over (sorry Mom).
Unfortunately for...some people (possibly myself), the process isn't over yet. Hell, at least I feel qualified to make a damn career decision now. This is compared to three years ago. I wasn't, and knew it, but rules are rules. Four years of college (minimum, generally), decide on a major by end of second year. So sayeth the great rules of our academic system. It almost makes me want to cheer for the students in their sixth year of a Bachelors. Most of the time I feel pity, exasperation, and sympathetic exhaustion.
http://www.bls.gov/NLS/nlsfaqs.htm#anch41, Fricking Baby Boomers (Hi, Mom!) held an average of 14 jobs over their lives. Change is constant.
Change sucks.
P.S. (three jobs and counting...)
(1) I've been working for my Dad since I was ten. I've typed out file names, filed; folded papers, glued, and stamped envelopes; and, since 2004 or so, kept the accounts in a semblence of order.
(2) Aborted attempt at cashiering at a water park. So many issues gained in such a short time. (Fear of jobs, fear of getting fired, general phobia regarding the place). To this day I despise the smell of them.
(3) My most successful attempt at solvency to date: teaching music for two years. Was also the bookkeeper for about six months. I kept expecting to get fired, but that feeling stopped, eventually.
I guess, technically, I'm also a freelance musician/teacher, but that's not large enough for me to count yet.
What doesn't kill you...
Aug. 18th, 2010 07:45 pmIt's amazing how much difference a full night of sleep changes your perspective. I've been on the edge for the past few days, but today was so much better. Also, getting through Music History and Theory tests with as much or more proficiency than I was granting myself earlier was a nice surprise.
I'm trying to organize my life now. Which internet provider should I choose? Where are the clubs I want to join? I didn't do this when I went to my undergraduate college, and I'm surprised how easy it is when you have a chosen direction. So far: I've found a knit/crochet group, an equestrian place (I was looking for a hiking/appreciate nature group, but this sounds interesting, too), and just now I found my quiet place. If I was given a guess, it wouldn't have been the off-campus rec room. Life is funny like that, sometimes. I still need a good library.
Knitting has been up and down really wildly in the past week. I was kinda, sorta doing about an inch per day before I left. Actually, it was more like 2-4 rows per day. I was stuck on the heel for six days. Once we got on the road to Ohio, though, I sailed through five inches in two days. Then I was knitting a few inches during Monday and Tuesday because the orientation classes were fairly boring. Today was all testing, so nothing has been done yet. I only have the toe of the second sock left, in fact. I may get to it tonight. I really need to practice violin and prepare for tomorrow, though.
I have no clue what I'm going to do once classes start. Probably go on as I've done before. One thing I remember from my many orientation things is that "study habits from undergraduate studies will greatly impact the habits of graduate students". I hope it doesn't hold true for me in a few things, like waiting too long to start a paper, or only practicing at night. I'm watching for it, so maybe I'll catch it early.
This is the first time I've been truly away from home and on my own. Vienna was more a case of "can she survive for six weeks?". This is two years. I have a feeling I will really appreciate my family visits.
Until next time,
Greeny
I'm trying to organize my life now. Which internet provider should I choose? Where are the clubs I want to join? I didn't do this when I went to my undergraduate college, and I'm surprised how easy it is when you have a chosen direction. So far: I've found a knit/crochet group, an equestrian place (I was looking for a hiking/appreciate nature group, but this sounds interesting, too), and just now I found my quiet place. If I was given a guess, it wouldn't have been the off-campus rec room. Life is funny like that, sometimes. I still need a good library.
Knitting has been up and down really wildly in the past week. I was kinda, sorta doing about an inch per day before I left. Actually, it was more like 2-4 rows per day. I was stuck on the heel for six days. Once we got on the road to Ohio, though, I sailed through five inches in two days. Then I was knitting a few inches during Monday and Tuesday because the orientation classes were fairly boring. Today was all testing, so nothing has been done yet. I only have the toe of the second sock left, in fact. I may get to it tonight. I really need to practice violin and prepare for tomorrow, though.
I have no clue what I'm going to do once classes start. Probably go on as I've done before. One thing I remember from my many orientation things is that "study habits from undergraduate studies will greatly impact the habits of graduate students". I hope it doesn't hold true for me in a few things, like waiting too long to start a paper, or only practicing at night. I'm watching for it, so maybe I'll catch it early.
This is the first time I've been truly away from home and on my own. Vienna was more a case of "can she survive for six weeks?". This is two years. I have a feeling I will really appreciate my family visits.
Until next time,
Greeny
New Home, New School
Aug. 17th, 2010 09:51 pmI've been in Ohio for four days. It's been interesting. School is going to be different, I can tell. There is a lot of emphasis on "being scholarly", and I'm not sure I approve, but I do not think I'll have too much trouble learning how to do that.
I have a new apartment, and it's a good one. One bedroom, one bath, one living room, and one kitchen. It's lacking in TV, so I have to find other ways to entertain myself. So far I'm unpacking, but that will run out soon. Perhaps I'll study.
I'm having a very hard time concentrating. Not enough sleep and no internet at home, which means I'm at school with many distractions.
I'll update again when I feel up to it. This was more to get back to it than anything.
I have a new apartment, and it's a good one. One bedroom, one bath, one living room, and one kitchen. It's lacking in TV, so I have to find other ways to entertain myself. So far I'm unpacking, but that will run out soon. Perhaps I'll study.
I'm having a very hard time concentrating. Not enough sleep and no internet at home, which means I'm at school with many distractions.
I'll update again when I feel up to it. This was more to get back to it than anything.
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I would love to be Solomon. I've always fancied knowing nearly everything and having the wisdom to use it well. Although, I could do without the hundred wives/concubines.
I would love to be Solomon. I've always fancied knowing nearly everything and having the wisdom to use it well. Although, I could do without the hundred wives/concubines.
Business Meter
Jul. 22nd, 2010 03:32 pmApparently, I am not as busy as I thought. Today I was totally stressing out over how busy it was going to be. I had four long things to do, with more long things tomorrow and little time to prepare. Computer repair, followed by knitting and crochet, an hour break, then teaching five people, and band practice. The computer repair took much longer than expected, completely usurping knit/crochet. It was relaxing: having to stay in one place for more than two hours. The computer is fixed, thank goodness, and I did get some knitting done. The first sock is finished, and the second is started. Yay!
If I had the time, I would talk about my trip to the capital, but I have to go teach very soon, and I'm hungry. A few words of description on the trip: spontaneous, short, interesting, and fun. Also, we did not win a million dollars.
Until next time,
Greeny
If I had the time, I would talk about my trip to the capital, but I have to go teach very soon, and I'm hungry. A few words of description on the trip: spontaneous, short, interesting, and fun. Also, we did not win a million dollars.
Until next time,
Greeny
I...never mind
Jul. 20th, 2010 09:56 pmI'm very, really, and truly tired. My word choice does not confirm this, but I don't care.
The past three days have been taken up with hosting my former roomie. I underestimated how much of an interruption to life that this would be. I am behind on the plans I have made. It will work out eventually, with much work, but I'm tired now.
Next time: knitting, driving, the capital, my darn computer, and working.
Greeny
The past three days have been taken up with hosting my former roomie. I underestimated how much of an interruption to life that this would be. I am behind on the plans I have made. It will work out eventually, with much work, but I'm tired now.
Next time: knitting, driving, the capital, my darn computer, and working.
Greeny
I have 26 days before I leave for Ohio.
My former roomie is visiting for the next two days, she got here yesterday. It's so strange: in the four years we lived together we didn't explore much outside our apartment or the campus. We almost never tried new restaurants, or went clubbing. We did go to a few bars, but that was more a band thing than anything else. Suddenly, she's here and we decide to go out at 9pm at night. It was fun, we went down to the Riverwalk, listened to the bands, and had some really good dark chocolate fondue. We're planning on going to the capital tomorrow, and we may stay up there until the next day. I guess this is a last fling before she gets married. Did I announce my roomie is engaged? She is, and I'm a bridesmaid. It's very exciting; I've never been a bridesmaid before.
I'm working on a sock, at present. It's very close to done, but I doubt it will get there before Tuesday. Alas. I've been making very good progress on it, too. About an inch a day, which is really good when it takes 14 rows to get an inch (that's a lot).
After my roomie got here yesterday, we went to a movie: Despicable Me. It was alright, nothing to rave over. I expected it to be funnier, maybe a little more adult, but it mostly stuck with kids jokes and themes.
Just to inform the non-existent readership, I'm planning on posting something every day until I leave. Why? I'm sentimental like that? I don't know. Now the something could be anything: a picture, a limerick, a fanfiction of my own creation, a song. Hopefully I can do this, I think it'll be fun.
Until tomorrow,
Greeny
My former roomie is visiting for the next two days, she got here yesterday. It's so strange: in the four years we lived together we didn't explore much outside our apartment or the campus. We almost never tried new restaurants, or went clubbing. We did go to a few bars, but that was more a band thing than anything else. Suddenly, she's here and we decide to go out at 9pm at night. It was fun, we went down to the Riverwalk, listened to the bands, and had some really good dark chocolate fondue. We're planning on going to the capital tomorrow, and we may stay up there until the next day. I guess this is a last fling before she gets married. Did I announce my roomie is engaged? She is, and I'm a bridesmaid. It's very exciting; I've never been a bridesmaid before.
I'm working on a sock, at present. It's very close to done, but I doubt it will get there before Tuesday. Alas. I've been making very good progress on it, too. About an inch a day, which is really good when it takes 14 rows to get an inch (that's a lot).
After my roomie got here yesterday, we went to a movie: Despicable Me. It was alright, nothing to rave over. I expected it to be funnier, maybe a little more adult, but it mostly stuck with kids jokes and themes.
Just to inform the non-existent readership, I'm planning on posting something every day until I leave. Why? I'm sentimental like that? I don't know. Now the something could be anything: a picture, a limerick, a fanfiction of my own creation, a song. Hopefully I can do this, I think it'll be fun.
Until tomorrow,
Greeny
Meet Elizabeth
Jul. 16th, 2010 12:23 amHi there,
Tonight is a diary night. I can't stop composing an entry in my head (and crying, my excess emotions always come out that way, it's annoying, but expected).
Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow make it officially a month until I leave. Going to Ohio, where the green grass grows (and freezes). I'm scared to death at the moment.
I'm not ready, yet. I probably will be when the time comes, but first I have to weather the fear. I also have to study my cute little arse off to get ready. I'm taking grad school more seriously than anything else in my life previous to this. I'm actually doing more than planning for it and letting those plans stagnate.
It's astonishing to watch the results when you put a plan into action. One of my plans was to get tutors for my entrance exams. Behold! It has been accomplished. Did it work out the way I thought it would? Sorta, not really. I thought I would study more. Check, on my own precious little would have been done. With tutors, I have someone to please, be accountable to. At the very least, something is happening. I'm not currently studying enough in History, and so I "fired" my tutor. Definitely wasn't expecting either thing, there. Maybe that is what set me off tonight.
Theory is sort of the same way: I'm definitely not studying enough, but my tutor is still pushing me along by main force. I hope to accelerate both subjects these last weeks. Strike that, I'm actively planning/going to/will pick up the pace in my studies this last month. It's not only necessary, it's decided.
Another plan that actually worked out was applying to grad school in the first place. I'm still rather amazed it happened, but quite happy to take credit for the results, if not the methods by which I arrived at them.
After that, I don't know if I should go on, but I feel like it, so onto...
Knitting: When we went to Kansas to check out the school there, my mother and I went to a really cool yarn store. At my urging, mom picked out some sock yarn. I've started those, at long last. I'm finally past the heel on the first one, and since then it's been remarkably easier to deal with. Having 64 stitches of lace versus 32 stitches of lace and 32 of knitting really makes a difference. In all likelihood, I'm going to finish these before I leave. That is, if the massive amounts of studying I plan to do don't derail that plan.
Until next time (still reading?),
Deepgreen18, aka Elizabeth
Tonight is a diary night. I can't stop composing an entry in my head (and crying, my excess emotions always come out that way, it's annoying, but expected).
Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow make it officially a month until I leave. Going to Ohio, where the green grass grows (and freezes). I'm scared to death at the moment.
I'm not ready, yet. I probably will be when the time comes, but first I have to weather the fear. I also have to study my cute little arse off to get ready. I'm taking grad school more seriously than anything else in my life previous to this. I'm actually doing more than planning for it and letting those plans stagnate.
It's astonishing to watch the results when you put a plan into action. One of my plans was to get tutors for my entrance exams. Behold! It has been accomplished. Did it work out the way I thought it would? Sorta, not really. I thought I would study more. Check, on my own precious little would have been done. With tutors, I have someone to please, be accountable to. At the very least, something is happening. I'm not currently studying enough in History, and so I "fired" my tutor. Definitely wasn't expecting either thing, there. Maybe that is what set me off tonight.
Theory is sort of the same way: I'm definitely not studying enough, but my tutor is still pushing me along by main force. I hope to accelerate both subjects these last weeks. Strike that, I'm actively planning/going to/will pick up the pace in my studies this last month. It's not only necessary, it's decided.
Another plan that actually worked out was applying to grad school in the first place. I'm still rather amazed it happened, but quite happy to take credit for the results, if not the methods by which I arrived at them.
After that, I don't know if I should go on, but I feel like it, so onto...
Knitting: When we went to Kansas to check out the school there, my mother and I went to a really cool yarn store. At my urging, mom picked out some sock yarn. I've started those, at long last. I'm finally past the heel on the first one, and since then it's been remarkably easier to deal with. Having 64 stitches of lace versus 32 stitches of lace and 32 of knitting really makes a difference. In all likelihood, I'm going to finish these before I leave. That is, if the massive amounts of studying I plan to do don't derail that plan.
Until next time (still reading?),
Deepgreen18, aka Elizabeth
I Always Forget to Make a Title
Jun. 4th, 2010 08:03 pmIt's been so long since I posted last that I am overwhelmed by the sheer number of things I "should" write about. However, should means nothing here.
I've been knitting/crocheting a lot lately. I made two pairs of purple Mary Janes most recently. They are unusual because they are outside shoes, the soles are made from jute, from which I've made a welcome mat from before, and I had to buy the pattern, a first for me. One pair was for me, and the other for a new friend of mine who shares my name. They are very cute and fairly comfortable, but I'm picky about what shoes I wear.
Other projects have been doll scarves (once again inspired by the new friend. She's a doll collector.), doilies (more on that later), and a cardigan. The cardigan isn't done yet, since I stalled on it a few weeks back. I have everything I need to complete it: buttons, yarn, a plan; but the motivation left me at that point. Almost all the other projects I started in order to avoid it are finished, so I'll probably be going back to it soon.
I started a dress for the Renaissance Faire a few weeks ago, but I couldn't finish in time to actually wear it to the event. It's still "unfinished" and a bit too small, as well. There is a big story behind that, but I don't feel like telling it today. Hopefully, I'll finish a dress that fits me by the 21st of the month. My band is playing a Ren Faire-themed party then.
I am still teaching about fifteen students, but I've had three leave from moving away or losing interest, and the look of my schedule is changing due to summer arriving. I feel a slight twinge of "I hate change" every time the seasons switch and my schedule is rearranged.
However, summer has freed up my own teacher and I've been having regular lessons once again. Practicing, and thinking about practicing (two things that go hand in hand) is becoming habitual once more. I'm not going to be going to a music camp this summer, and I'm glad for it. I need all my energy to get ready for graduate school.
I'll also be beginning tutoring for Music Theory and History very soon. Taking it, not giving it, to be clear. That is also in preparation for grad school. There will be an entrance exam. If I don't pass it, there will be remedial classes. Ew.
My family has attended several events over the past two months. On Mother's Day we went to see my maternal grandmothers. I promised to make my great-grandmother ten 3-inch doilies during our visit, and I finished them a week ago. Now, I just have to go give them to her. I'm bad at finding time for it, unfortunately. I will, though. The doilies aren't doing me any good sitting there.
Our second event was Memorial Day. We went to Illinois to see my paternal side of the family. They were very interested in where I was going to go to school. Turns out one of my uncles lives in Ohio, about three hours from where my school is. It will be nice to go visit them when I have a weekend off. Mother also approved; she said it made her heart easier. We're looking at apartments in my town right now. I've picked one out, and we just have to call on it.
Goodness, I'm worn out. Typing isn't as easy as it was after a two month break. I'll be back, hopefully sooner than last time. I want to say I'll get in a regular schedule of posting to prepare for grad school, but summer isn't always interesting, you know? I'll likely begin posting again once I've moved in August. Can't have Mother get too lonely without me.
Until then,
Deepgreen(y)
I've been knitting/crocheting a lot lately. I made two pairs of purple Mary Janes most recently. They are unusual because they are outside shoes, the soles are made from jute, from which I've made a welcome mat from before, and I had to buy the pattern, a first for me. One pair was for me, and the other for a new friend of mine who shares my name. They are very cute and fairly comfortable, but I'm picky about what shoes I wear.
Other projects have been doll scarves (once again inspired by the new friend. She's a doll collector.), doilies (more on that later), and a cardigan. The cardigan isn't done yet, since I stalled on it a few weeks back. I have everything I need to complete it: buttons, yarn, a plan; but the motivation left me at that point. Almost all the other projects I started in order to avoid it are finished, so I'll probably be going back to it soon.
I started a dress for the Renaissance Faire a few weeks ago, but I couldn't finish in time to actually wear it to the event. It's still "unfinished" and a bit too small, as well. There is a big story behind that, but I don't feel like telling it today. Hopefully, I'll finish a dress that fits me by the 21st of the month. My band is playing a Ren Faire-themed party then.
I am still teaching about fifteen students, but I've had three leave from moving away or losing interest, and the look of my schedule is changing due to summer arriving. I feel a slight twinge of "I hate change" every time the seasons switch and my schedule is rearranged.
However, summer has freed up my own teacher and I've been having regular lessons once again. Practicing, and thinking about practicing (two things that go hand in hand) is becoming habitual once more. I'm not going to be going to a music camp this summer, and I'm glad for it. I need all my energy to get ready for graduate school.
I'll also be beginning tutoring for Music Theory and History very soon. Taking it, not giving it, to be clear. That is also in preparation for grad school. There will be an entrance exam. If I don't pass it, there will be remedial classes. Ew.
My family has attended several events over the past two months. On Mother's Day we went to see my maternal grandmothers. I promised to make my great-grandmother ten 3-inch doilies during our visit, and I finished them a week ago. Now, I just have to go give them to her. I'm bad at finding time for it, unfortunately. I will, though. The doilies aren't doing me any good sitting there.
Our second event was Memorial Day. We went to Illinois to see my paternal side of the family. They were very interested in where I was going to go to school. Turns out one of my uncles lives in Ohio, about three hours from where my school is. It will be nice to go visit them when I have a weekend off. Mother also approved; she said it made her heart easier. We're looking at apartments in my town right now. I've picked one out, and we just have to call on it.
Goodness, I'm worn out. Typing isn't as easy as it was after a two month break. I'll be back, hopefully sooner than last time. I want to say I'll get in a regular schedule of posting to prepare for grad school, but summer isn't always interesting, you know? I'll likely begin posting again once I've moved in August. Can't have Mother get too lonely without me.
Until then,
Deepgreen(y)
Writer's Block: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
May. 10th, 2010 11:50 pm[Error: unknown template qotd]
Oddly enough, it was a family affair, driven (no pun intended) by my little sister. We had Goldie, and The Green Menace. Guess what colors they were.
Oddly enough, it was a family affair, driven (no pun intended) by my little sister. We had Goldie, and The Green Menace. Guess what colors they were.
