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Ohhh...That life.
Nov. 1st, 2008 01:17 amAt least five years ago, my older sister said something like "I have a life, you should get one, too." She didn't say it in a mean way, just matter-of-factly. Like a social life was something that you could just make. At that time, I hadn't the slightest clue about how to get a life, or why it mattered. Why was hanging out with people that could be annoying desirable? What was the point?
Then, I went to college. I experienced loneliness, true alienation from just about everyone. I hadn't had that before, not with my ever-present family. I also learned how to be sociable. These are strange hand-in-hand, but life is odd. I learned how to fake feeling good so as not to drive people away. I desired a close relationship, a "best friend". Oddly enough, gaining that took awhile. I am proud to call my roommate my best friend. We've lived together for almost three and a half years, now. I still desire other close relationships. But only this year have I understood why a social life, and not necessarily close relationship, is so...good.
It's fun. It's also exhilarating, scary, boring, and many, many other things. Primarily, it's an experience that gives us memories. We may never do that certain activity again, we may never be able to do that again. But we did it once, and it was fun, or it was excruciating, or we made it great. Experiences, memories, are links to other people. At its best, a social life connects you with others. At its worst, it does the opposite. I've had my fair share of the latter, I think. Now is the time for the former.
I was so scared about tonight. Serious doubts. Like "Should I really do this?" doubts. But I knew that my fears had no basis, and there was nothing but a bad reception to be scared of. So I dressed up, put my horns on (Literally. I was a 'Devil in Prada', or my personal favorite: 'The devil you don't know'), glued on my fake eyelashes, and went. It started scary, then it got boring, and then...it got exciting, exhilarating, "giving you chills" good. We played, and did it really well. I'm glad I went.
Now I have to pack for my trip to Illinois in the morning.
Thanks for reading, you've been great.
Greeny
Then, I went to college. I experienced loneliness, true alienation from just about everyone. I hadn't had that before, not with my ever-present family. I also learned how to be sociable. These are strange hand-in-hand, but life is odd. I learned how to fake feeling good so as not to drive people away. I desired a close relationship, a "best friend". Oddly enough, gaining that took awhile. I am proud to call my roommate my best friend. We've lived together for almost three and a half years, now. I still desire other close relationships. But only this year have I understood why a social life, and not necessarily close relationship, is so...good.
It's fun. It's also exhilarating, scary, boring, and many, many other things. Primarily, it's an experience that gives us memories. We may never do that certain activity again, we may never be able to do that again. But we did it once, and it was fun, or it was excruciating, or we made it great. Experiences, memories, are links to other people. At its best, a social life connects you with others. At its worst, it does the opposite. I've had my fair share of the latter, I think. Now is the time for the former.
I was so scared about tonight. Serious doubts. Like "Should I really do this?" doubts. But I knew that my fears had no basis, and there was nothing but a bad reception to be scared of. So I dressed up, put my horns on (Literally. I was a 'Devil in Prada', or my personal favorite: 'The devil you don't know'), glued on my fake eyelashes, and went. It started scary, then it got boring, and then...it got exciting, exhilarating, "giving you chills" good. We played, and did it really well. I'm glad I went.
Now I have to pack for my trip to Illinois in the morning.
Thanks for reading, you've been great.
Greeny
Encounters of the human kind
Jul. 4th, 2008 10:50 amSo, I got hit on last night.
I finally got to talk with my family and they inspired me to action. I went out at 9:45pm, alone, and realized in about ten minutes that this was not a good idea, so I headed home, and was a block away from the apartment when this dude stopped me and started asking me about myself. This naturally made me suspicious, and I questioned his motives. He acted all interested and harmless, so we talked. He asked me out. I agreed on the condition I could bring a friend. We exchanged phone numbers, and walked away.
In conclusion, I can't go because I can't find someone to go with me. This kinda stinks, the guy was cute and pretty nice (my instincts say he was nice, but probably a bit flaky). Even though this could have gone nowhere, I was still intruiged why someone would ask me out in the first place.
I have never been asked out before, and this is the second guy to express interest in me. The first one was in the library when I was 14, he was 20 (he backed off really hastily when he learned my age).
It is very interesting how I reacted both during and after the encounter. During it I was a bit suspicious, though perhaps you can't be too suspicious when a guy stops you on the street, and after I felt rather unsettled and confused. I don't attract attention from guys, this is a normal part of my life, and to have that upset in one conversation would upset anyone, I guess.
Now, I go shop and enjoy my last days here in Vienna.
Bye,
Greeny
I finally got to talk with my family and they inspired me to action. I went out at 9:45pm, alone, and realized in about ten minutes that this was not a good idea, so I headed home, and was a block away from the apartment when this dude stopped me and started asking me about myself. This naturally made me suspicious, and I questioned his motives. He acted all interested and harmless, so we talked. He asked me out. I agreed on the condition I could bring a friend. We exchanged phone numbers, and walked away.
In conclusion, I can't go because I can't find someone to go with me. This kinda stinks, the guy was cute and pretty nice (my instincts say he was nice, but probably a bit flaky). Even though this could have gone nowhere, I was still intruiged why someone would ask me out in the first place.
I have never been asked out before, and this is the second guy to express interest in me. The first one was in the library when I was 14, he was 20 (he backed off really hastily when he learned my age).
It is very interesting how I reacted both during and after the encounter. During it I was a bit suspicious, though perhaps you can't be too suspicious when a guy stops you on the street, and after I felt rather unsettled and confused. I don't attract attention from guys, this is a normal part of my life, and to have that upset in one conversation would upset anyone, I guess.
Now, I go shop and enjoy my last days here in Vienna.
Bye,
Greeny
