deepgreen18

At least five years ago, my older sister said something like "I have a life, you should get one, too." She didn't say it in a mean way, just matter-of-factly. Like a social life was something that you could just make. At that time, I hadn't the slightest clue about how to get a life, or why it mattered. Why was hanging out with people that could be annoying desirable? What was the point?

Then, I went to college. I experienced loneliness, true alienation from just about everyone. I hadn't had that before, not with my ever-present family. I also learned how to be sociable. These are strange hand-in-hand, but life is odd. I learned how to fake feeling good so as not to drive people away. I desired a close relationship, a "best friend". Oddly enough, gaining that took awhile. I am proud to call my roommate my best friend. We've lived together for almost three and a half years, now. I still desire other close relationships. But only this year have I understood why a social life, and not necessarily close relationship, is so...good.

It's fun. It's also exhilarating, scary, boring, and many, many other things. Primarily, it's an experience that gives us memories. We may never do that certain activity again, we may never be able to do that again. But we did it once, and it was fun, or it was excruciating, or we made it great. Experiences, memories, are links to other people. At its best, a social life connects you with others. At its worst, it does the opposite. I've had my fair share of the latter, I think. Now is the time for the former.

I was so scared about tonight. Serious doubts. Like "Should I really do this?" doubts. But I knew that my fears had no basis, and there was nothing but a bad reception to be scared of. So I dressed up, put my horns on (Literally. I was a 'Devil in Prada', or my personal favorite: 'The devil you don't know'), glued on my fake eyelashes, and went. It started scary, then it got boring, and then...it got exciting, exhilarating, "giving you chills" good. We played, and did it really well. I'm glad I went.

Now I have to pack for my trip to Illinois in the morning.

Thanks for reading, you've been great.
Greeny