Dec. 13th, 2008

deepgreen18: (Default)
Hey everyone, (I will always assume that more than one person reads this, that's my Mother's overly positive influence working) I posted twice today. I don't think you can see it (it's in private mode), but this is an edited version of what I wrote in the other post. Despite my natural inclinations to pure bluntness, many years of my Mother's thoughtful and rather forceful influence have helped me realize when something is too much information. Sorry if I'm making you frustrated. I personally hate not getting all the possible information.

I've been told many things about myself. That I'm pretty today, or fat, or sharp-eared (good at hearing stuff), blunt, entertaining, memorable, unique, articulate. You know what? I don't care what you say. It may hurt or feel good temporarily, but in the end I decide how to feel about myself. I decide what adjectives to use when I introduce myself. I may forget that some days, but it's true.

So that is how I feel. Strangely I feel I must make some declaration of intent to remember this every day, but I try to be a realist (not a catastrophist, contortionist, or procrastinator), and I know with my little voice of truth inside that I will forget some days. It's called being human.

My night was pretty darn good. My day was pretty fine, as well. I tutored, turned in the infamous paper, bought milk, talked to my lady (last time with her, sadly), made biscuits, watched my other student play in a recital, and watched a movie and Roswell. Yeah, my life is very good. I have my health, sanity (so I believe, which makes it suspect, weirdly), self-respect, skill in music, free time, and family and friends. 

I saw the full moon tonight. I was driving down the road and...boom! I was right in front of me. God's gift of light artistically accented by this lazy, flat 'x' of contrails. Man can't improve on perfection, but maybe an imperfection here and there is also workable. It makes things approachable, more beautiful, somehow. What is an android to a beautiful lady?

I'm done, not with life or my relationships. Just this post.

See ya,
Greeny

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