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(De)faults
Mar. 12th, 2010 05:26 pmThe past couple of months have been very strange for me. I acted in a way that increased my stress levels to almost unbearable heights. Finally, after all the college application stuff was over, I started to act and feel better. This week I reverted. It didn't stress me out near as much as before, because I have neither as many nor important deadlines as compared to earlier. I wondered, a lot, actually, during that phase why I was doing such things. It just doesn't make much sense to work against yourself, you know? In the end, I've decided to dissect it here. Hopefully this will clear it up.
1: I don't have a full schedule that requires more than just showing up each week. Thus, I've not really set out daily schedules for myself or even thought of the future much. Just followed my default programming. This leads to staying up too late, being late to work, forgetting appointments, and a general feeling of can't/won't do it, because I don't have to, and if I don't have to do something, I generally won't.
2: I got confused about the order of task + reward = reinforcement. Reading, watching TV/anime, and knitting are my rewards, and I did them before I did the necessary tasks of the day, thus reinforcing not working. I love the fact that my psychology class has benefited me in more than just my knowledge base.
It was such a relief to realize this stuff, and, even better, apply it. I was happier, healthier, and overall more positive in outlook. It's always better to be active. Perhaps I should compile a list of my "It's always better...s", Write them out, print them, keep them up where I can see them. For me, it's always better to be constantly reminded in writing.
I have two other things to say: I was fully accepted to Bowling Green State University as of yesterday. It's making me smile quite I bit. I was also denied at Kansas, but no great loss there. Only one other place to hear from.
My sock has been steadily getting bigger since last time. I turned the heel yesterday (turning heels is so fun) and got the instep decreases and some of the foot done today. Another 4-5 days at my default pace (14 rows a day), and I'll be done with my second pair of socks. I can't wait.
Greeny
1: I don't have a full schedule that requires more than just showing up each week. Thus, I've not really set out daily schedules for myself or even thought of the future much. Just followed my default programming. This leads to staying up too late, being late to work, forgetting appointments, and a general feeling of can't/won't do it, because I don't have to, and if I don't have to do something, I generally won't.
2: I got confused about the order of task + reward = reinforcement. Reading, watching TV/anime, and knitting are my rewards, and I did them before I did the necessary tasks of the day, thus reinforcing not working. I love the fact that my psychology class has benefited me in more than just my knowledge base.
It was such a relief to realize this stuff, and, even better, apply it. I was happier, healthier, and overall more positive in outlook. It's always better to be active. Perhaps I should compile a list of my "It's always better...s", Write them out, print them, keep them up where I can see them. For me, it's always better to be constantly reminded in writing.
I have two other things to say: I was fully accepted to Bowling Green State University as of yesterday. It's making me smile quite I bit. I was also denied at Kansas, but no great loss there. Only one other place to hear from.
My sock has been steadily getting bigger since last time. I turned the heel yesterday (turning heels is so fun) and got the instep decreases and some of the foot done today. Another 4-5 days at my default pace (14 rows a day), and I'll be done with my second pair of socks. I can't wait.
Greeny
